What is Business Resilience

Episode 995: What is Business Resilience, with Kim Ades

What is business resilience—Discover the key to enduring success amidst challenges with insights into what is business resilience.

What is business resilience? This will be explained by Kim Ades in today’s podcast episode, as well as how it can help your business grow. 

Kim Ades (pronounced add-iss) is the President and Founder of Frame of Mind Coaching™ and JournalEngine™ Software. Recognized as an expert in the area of thought mastery and mental toughness, Kim uses her unique philosophy and quirky coaching style to help business owners and leaders identify their personal blind spots and shift their thinking in order to yield extraordinary results. Author, speaker, entrepreneur, coach, and mom of five, Kim’s claim to fame is teaching her powerful Frame of Mind Coaching process to executives, entrepreneurs, and senior leaders world-wide.

What you’ll learn in this episode is about what is business resilience: 

• How Kim has demonstrated the importance of building business resilience in her own coaching business by adapting to virtual coaching during the global pandemic
• Kim will explain what is business resilience and how it can help your business to grow.
• How the key to developing resilience is by letting go of struggles and leverage opportunities, and why the first step is to stabilize yourself
• How Kim defines resilience, and why taking control of your mindset is an important aspect of resilience
• What three-step process Kim coach business owners and leaders through to stabilize themselves and become stronger leaders through adversity
• Why Kim is focused on “doing fewer things but doing them extraordinarily well”, and what the process of working with Frame of Mind Coaching looks like
• Why do too many clients define their goals but then act in ways completely contrary to getting to those goals, and how Kim help them realign their actions to their goals
• What major coaching mistakes business owners often make, and why “being empathetic” isn’t the same as being understanding
• Why too often business leaders focus on behaviors rather than on the beliefs that are driving those behaviors
• Why, instead of offering instant solutions, you should work to empower your team to find their own solutions
• Kim offers two questions you should write down and answer that can help you achieve greater clarity on your mindset and help you build business resilience

Resources:

• Learn more about what is business resilience, and you can find Kim here
• Learn strategies for building business resilience with Kim’s The Frame of Mind Coaching Podcast
• Click here for additional information about what is business resilience
• Kim’s LinkedIn
• Frame of Mind Coaching’s LinkedIn
• Frame of Mind Coaching’s Facebook
• Kim’s Twitter @kimades

Additional Resources:

• Free Executive Leadership Summary report from Predictive ROI: https://predictiveroi.com/research
• Sell With Authority by Drew McLellan and Stephen Woessner: https://amzn.to/39y7x13
• Predictive ROI Free Resource Library: https://predictiveroi.com/resources/
• Stephen Woessner’s LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/stephenwoessner/

 

 

What is Business Resilience: Full Episode Transcript

 

Get ready to find your recipe for success from America’s top business owners here at Onward Nation with your host, Stephen Woessner.

 

Good morning, Onward Nation. I’m Stephen Woessner, CEO of Predictive ROI, and I’m your host. It is hard to believe — well, at least it is for me and maybe for you, too, but here we are nearly a full month into the second quarter of 2021. My hope for you is that the first four months of this year have been a time when you can look back on 2020 and see all of the ways that it pushed you, how it stressed you, and that, as a result of the pain, maybe the grief, maybe the anger you may have been at what you considered to be your personal breaking point, or maybe your professional breaking point, or maybe even both. 

 

There are still days candidly that I just shake my head in disgust for what the year was, but the tide is turning. We see that. And as you know, I talk with agency owners, business coaches, and consultants every day. And I am joyful to see more and more of them doubling down on the progressive decisions that will help them and their teams continue to navigate this year. And yes, there are still some choppy waters out there, but more and more owners are putting themselves in the right position to come roaring out. The other side of the recession is the leftovers from last year. And when I think of my daily conversations, there’s this throughline that runs through all of them, which encourages me and inspires me at the same time. 

 

And that through line is resilience. In my opinion, business owners showed their incredible resilience over the last 18 months with sacrifices made for your team’s clients, your families, and your communities. If it was hard to watch, of course, and it was also inspiring to watch. But as the economy improves, our business gets back to whatever quote-unquote normal is going to look like, and our need to be resilient does not lessen. So, delving has become even more resilient. I invited one of our Onward Nation alumni to come back for an important and very special encore. 

 

I wanted her to share her insights and her wisdom from the front lines. So, to speak about resilience, here are her insights around the biggest coaching mistakes that she sees owners make and how we, as owners, can then raise the bar even further in the face of adversity. Kim Ades was my guest way back in episode one hundred and 15, which was Holy Bananas almost exactly four years ago to the day. Kim is the president and founder of Frame of Mind Coaching in Journal Engine and an expert in the area of thought mastery and mental toughness. 

 

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What is Business Resilience: Kim Ades’ Introduction

 

This conversation, Onward Nation with Kim, will help you identify some personal blind spots to shift your thinking and double down on resiliency. OK. So, without further ado, welcome back to Onward Nation, Kim. 

 

Thank you, Onward Nation. And thank you, Stephen. I am so delighted, thrilled over the top. Looking forward to this conversation. 

 

No, it was awesome. And I’m over the top. Excited to have you here at my friend’s. So thank you again for saying yes to come back. Obviously, four years is a long time, and a lot has happened in our respective businesses and so forth for everyone who’s listening to your voice. I encourage them to go back to episode 215 to get a full download of your path and journey in the story and so forth. But, because it has been a while, bring this up to speed with what’s new, take us behind the curtain, and then we’ll dive in 

 

What’s new? Well, here we are. Obviously, we’re not traveling anymore; all of our presentations are virtual, and if anybody knows me, they know that my presentation is to be highly, highly interactive. So not only have I figured out how to create interactive presentations, but we are also running three-day, extremely tactile. Hands-on interactive virtual training sessions to teach leaders how to coach. And I’ve been pulling out all the stops two, really up to the game of interactivity through Zoom. 

 

So that’s new. The other thing that’s new is that we are continuing we upgrade our software. It’s a piece of software called JournalEngine that is specifically designed for coaches. We licensed that out to coaches who want to ask their clients to journal with them and gain this incredible download of insight on their clients and their thinking. And so that’s available. Thirdly, we were working on a top-secret, not quite out-the-door project. And I’m hoping that maybe we’ll touch on that a little bit in this conversation. 

 

Well, and I’m sure we will, too, and I’m excited to hear about it kind of behind the scenes. That’s so exciting, especially something that is still in development or something secret, as you mentioned, so that’s a cool opportunity. And, but with that list, and that was a pretty meaty list of what’s new. So I think that’s such a great illustration of, yes, the last 18 months were super hard. It is very clear and evident that you and your team have doubled down on many progressive decisions you can make to continue to develop new things. And where can you be helpful in the trenches for where your clients are needed? You are right. 

 

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What is Business Resilience: Bouncing Back and Turning Adversity into Opportunity

 

Yeah. I mean, part of it is kind of setting it as an example. The other part of it is really understanding where people are struggling and helping them to let go of the struggle and leverage whatever opportunity is in front of us right now in this time period. And so the first part of all is stabilizing yourself and making sure you’re strong and in a good place where when other people are rattled, you don’t get rattled right along with them. And so, for me, from a coaching standpoint and a business standpoint, that’s kind of stage one. And even when we do get rattled, as we are human, we get rattled, and then we bounce back fairly quickly. 

 

We love that. Okay. So can we hook that into resilience and maybe even get a formal definition, your definition of resiliency is a good foundation. 

 

So, what is business resilience? Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity with speed and agility. And I think the end part is important, as well as leveraging the adversity. So we all get knocked down. We’ve all been knocked down recently. And the question is, what do we do when we’re down? Do we stay there? How long do we stay there? How long do we roll around in the muck before we decide to get up and move along and not only move along but do something good with our negative experience to turn it into some kind of advantage, learning, or gift something? And really, that’s the key. And it’s being able to kind of have this consciousness that says, I know that something yucky bad, horrible, awful, terrible just happened. 

 

And I also know that’s somehow it might not to be able to see it. I might not be able to understand it. It’s my job to unveil the gifts that lies in that experience. 

 

Okay. So, Ooh, because that’s really profound. I’ve never heard anybody say it that way before. I love that where you said my job is to unveil woo. Because it really isn’t. It is a discovery, and it is a process that doesn’t happen immediately. 

 

Right. Right. And I can give you a perfect example. Like this year, there was a huge, huge, massive opportunity in front of us with an enormous project that we thought we were going to win, and we didn’t have women. We lost it. And I still don’t know why it was a huge blow, huge blow. I felt the blow. I questioned my purpose and all that stuff for a very short period of time until I said, OK, so we didn’t get that opportunity. It must mean it’s creating space for something else. Or I’m eager to see what steps in instead of this opportunity that we thought we were going to be spending a lot of time and energy on. 

 

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What is Business Resilience: Cultivating Openness and Resilience in Leadership and Team Dynamics

 

So now, so what’s next, right? So it’s this openness to receiving that if you experience a blow and everything turns dark for you and all things shut down, you’re not even open to receiving whatever is next. And the idea is to open yourself up as quickly as possible to look to search, to recognize that next thing. 

 

Okay. So let’s take this into: I love how you said, well, my job as the unveil, how, how does that job change, if it does at all when we’re thinking about an owner and how they help their team also see it like through your point of view, that that is this really a gift, is, is this really an opportunity for us to be open to what’s next? How does the leader or the owner help his or her team see things from that point of view? 

 

What is business resilience? So I want to kind of go back a step. Okay. And I started off with, hey, we have to stabilize ourselves first, right? And the same stands for the owner, as you call it. And so, the question is, how does an owner stabilize him or herself? What are the things involved in that process? I will share my experience with you. I’ve been coaching people for 16 years, and usually, their owners are leaders. There are people who are highly, highly driven and have enormous goals. They wanted to achieve and have a mission in life. They want to make the world a better place, but they also wanna live an extraordinary life. So what I have noticed is that those people who overcome obstacles and have a high degree of resilience but also achieve enormous goals tend to have three things in common. 

 

What is business resilience, and how do I start? And I’m happy to share those with you. And those are those three things I would say are a huge, reflection of that resilience we’re talking about. So, number one is that when they experience some type of adversity, and things look dark, they look bleak, they ask themselves one critical question, and they might use paper and a pen to write it down. They may use a format of journaling to make that happen, but they ask themselves, what do I believe to be true about this problem, this situation, this circumstance, the setup, this person, that adversity? What do I believe to be true? And they do a download of all of our beliefs. And then what they do is they say, is that actually true? 

 

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What is Business Resilience: Challenging Beliefs and Embracing Limitless Resources in Times of Adversity

 

What is business resilience? And they push back on some of their beliefs, particularly when those beliefs don’t line up with their ultimate goals. And so they challenge their own thinking, knowing that sometimes, no, no, no, not sometimes, and most of the time, it’s our greatest detriment. So, with that awareness, they are always challenging their fundamental beliefs. So when COVID hits, and we think, Oh my God, that’s in our revenues are gonna suffer. We can bounce back. This is why we’re doomed. They say, do we have to be doomed? Is there another option? 

 

I love that. Let me make sure that I’m capturing this in my notes correctly. As far as I know, you mentioned three things in common. So when things look dark, what do I believe to be true about this adversity situation? So forth? That’s number one. 

 

Yeah. And they challenged their beliefs. So, number one is the challenge. Their beliefs. Number two is that these owners and leaders are extraordinarily resourceful, and you might be thinking, okay, that’s not anything new, but they think about resources very differently from the average person in their minds. There’s no shortage of anything. There is no shortage of talent. There’s no shortage of help. There is no shortage of money. There is no shortage of time. There is no shortage. With that mindset and view of things, they also feel like they have the ability to tap into that source and have unlimited resources. 

 

So the question is, what do I need? What do I want? It’s out there waiting for me. And they don’t feel any inhibition about tapping into those resources in very often. It’s that inhibition, that discomfort, that feeling of not being deserving or that feeling of interrupting bothering me, that holds us back from even asking for help. 

 

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What is Business Resilience: Overcoming Limiting Beliefs and Pursuing Clear Goals with Resilience

 

It’s interesting. Going back to your earlier point, our thinking is our greatest detriment, right? So, if we’re not thinking of being extremely resourceful or that it’s out there and we just need to ask or seek or find it in our own thinking, it is keeping us backward. Of course, then it is going to be our own detriment. Right. 

 

And we have a whole set of beliefs. Like I’m sure you’ve heard this one before: it takes money to make money. Sure. You heard that. Right. And then we take it as a done deal. Right. So what does that mean? That means I can actually make money until I’ve reached a certain level of having money. Therefore, I’m not taking action if I don’t have money. 

 

Right. Which of course it was false. I know tons of real estate investors who make gobs of money and have done really, really well for themselves and put none of their own money into the deals. Right. There are lots of ways we can access Resources without any financial exchange whatsoever. Okay. So we just covered a challenge to our beliefs is point number one, a number two was a they’re extraordinarily resourceful, which was awesome. So then what does the third thing in common? 

 

What is business resilience? The third thing is that these owners are very clear about what it is that they truly deeply personally want, and they don’t get lost there, they don’t get turned around, and they don’t get distracted. They have that front and center in their minds, and it’s like they have blinders on, and they go in the direction of what they want. How many times do we know what we want? Then, a shiny new object appears, and we switch courses. Or, we’re on a path, but we don’t follow the path to completion. Or we say, we’re going to do this, but we don’t do it very well. We do it haphazardly. 

 

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What is Business Resilience: Staying on Track Amidst Distractions

 

Hmm. Yeah. I mean, we hear the shiny object syndrome. We hear the Oh, this is going to be that new thing or whatever. And in these conversations that I get to have on a daily basis with w with owners, it’s interesting to see. I shouldn’t say it’s interesting to see; it should go without saying maybe that’s a better way to describe it. The owners who are very clear on the destination, understanding that maybe the path is going to meander a little bit because of the roadblocks and optical obstacles, are the ones who have total clarity about the mission, vision, purpose of the business, and where they’re going. They’re the ones who climb the right mountain. 

 

What is business resilience? I’ll give you an example. My example is going to be you. Okay. So I’ve known you for a while, and I’ve been watching you from the side as I do. And here’s what I noticed about you in your podcast production process: you are dotting every T and crossing it, sorry, dotting every I and crossing every T. And you do it with perfection from start to finish and post-Finnish for that matter. If I run a podcast, it’s not the only thing that I do, and I do it really well, but not nearly as well as you do. 

 

There are many eyes that are not daunted. And as I look like, actually, this is my kind of focus for this year, which is to figure out what we are doing and how we make sure we do fewer things, but extraordinarily well, but that’s about focus, right? And many of us are engaged, in projects where we’re not doing them that well, and then we say, why aren’t they succeeding? 

 

Yeah. And then when they don’t, but my guess is that you find this when you’re in the trenches working alongside owners in their teams. Not only the recognition of, gosh, we didn’t accomplish what we wanted to, but then sometimes there’s guilt, there’s remorse, there’s additional stress. And then all of that too.

 

In their self-doubt. And there’s exhaustion, and there’s frustration. And there’s anger with other people on the team who aren’t doing the work and on and on and on, right? 

 

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What is Business Resilience: Free Chapter on Overcoming Obstacles & Building Resilience

 

Hey, Onward Nation. I wanted to take a quick break from the episode to share a practical and tactical resource with you. When we first released our book profitable podcasting, it became a number one new release on Amazon in a lesson of 18 hours. Well, that was nearly three years ago, and we’re still getting great feedback, which is helpful. The book has been to business owners just like you, as they launched a podcast to build their business. When I think a strategy is that you can apply right now during these challenging times having your own show, which will be a conduit that you could use to teach and share your insights with your community, launch a podcast, or grow your existing show, really should be at the top of your list. 

 

I want to help you get started by giving you access to a free chapter of my book. Just go to PredictiveROI.com/resources, and you’ll get the chapter where I show you how to confront and overcome your three biggest obstacles to success. PredictiveROI.com/resources and we will send it to your inbox. 

 

So, let’s go back then to now that you’ve given us the three things in common, which was amazing around resilience, how then, in your opinion, because you have this, this rare view of being in the trenches with owners in helping them be better as they step in front of their teams, how do you coach an owner to be better in, in so that not only they’re resilient, but that resiliency transcends to their team too if that’s even possible. 

 

What is business resilience and what’s your process? So I’ll talk about our coaching process, but then also I just wanna talk about this third point, this whole idea of focusing on what you want. So, when we coach people, we always start with a 10-week coaching period. Why only 10 weeks? We coach leaders who like to move quickly, and speed is very important to them, right? They just want to move fast. And so we start off with 10 weeks and only 10 weeks in those 10 weeks, there’s a phone call every week. We record every phone call so that they can listen to their recordings between every call. Why is that super important? 

 

Because a huge part of what we do is bring this, let’s call it, a flood of awareness to our clients about how they think and how their thinking impacts their own results in their performance. When they listen to themselves, they start to hear how they speak the stories. They tell their beliefs, and they have the places where they get stuck in triggers, on and on and on. Suddenly, they listen to themselves from a third-party perspective and learn about themselves. The second piece is that we ask our clients to journal in an online journal every single day, even on the weekends, with their coach. So what happens is at the beginning of the week, they get a journal or a prompt. 

 

They start journaling. Their journal goes back to their coach, who reads and responds to the journal every single day. So what happens when a client journals every day? They make progress because they are doing the work every single day. But what else happens is they start to tell a different story over time. And when they tell a different story, they get different results. They build this incredibly intense and intimate relationship with their coach. And it’s that relationship that allows for tremendous travel in a short period of time. On top of all of that, the coach receives an incredible amount of information about the client, which allows the coach to see what this person’s patterns are. 

 

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What is Business Resilience: Overcoming Contradictions to Achieve True Goals

 

What is business resilience? What are this person’s beliefs? What are this person’s values and priorities, and what is it? How is it? How is this person wired? And all of that provides a coach with the information that they need to really help the client move forward quickly. So that’s how we coach people. But one of the things that we notice is that our clients, we can say, here’s what I want. They’ll define it. And it takes a while for us to get there, but they define it finally. And then, they behave in ways that completely contradict their desires. 

 

Okay. Well, I can’t wait to hear more about this and that. I’m not surprised, but I can’t wait to get your perspective on that. 

 

No, I mean, you and I started talking a little bit about kids, right? What do most parents want for their children? Most parents want their kids to be independent. They want them to have great self-management skills. They want them to be self-confident. They want them to be able to make great decisions. They want them to be able to have great relationships and be productive on and on and on. Right. But what do the parents do all day, every day? The reverse of that and micromanage their kids, right? 

 

What is business resilience? Does it ever get tiring? All day, every day, parents give their children instructions: go put on their shoes, get dressed, eat dinner, and brush their teeth. No, you can have that cookie if you have to eat dinner first, and on and on. And if we think really carefully about what we are doing, all for the right reasons, All for the best intentions, all that instruction is not consistent with creating independence. Decision-making self-confidence, it’s not consistent. Right. And we see that contradiction everywhere over and over. We see it in workplaces. We see it in relationships. We see it in partnerships and marriages, and we have a hundred percent seen it with parenting. 

 

We see it in our health. We say, yeah, I want to lose weight. I’m going to exercise. I’m going to eat well. Oh, but it’s my wife’s birthday. I need to have cake. 

 

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What is Business Resilience: Achieving Harmony in Leadership and Parenting

 

So, okay. So, let’s go back to that. That’s a great illustration. I love the parenting analogy, metaphor, or whatever the right way is to describe that. Because many of us, many of our listeners Onward Nation, business owners, our parents. So that’s a great context. So then, when you see your coaching clients, who are typically owners, saying one thing and behaving differently, how do you get them into alignment? Is it changed to what they want or changed the behavior or 

 

No? It’s they forget what they want. Right? So let’s really get clear about what you want. Go ahead. And then B, let’s look at your behaviors and the beliefs that fuel your behaviors to figure out if your actions and thinking are consistent with what you want. I’ll give you another example, right? So again, I work with leaders. Some of them run really, really massive companies. So, one day, I was a kid, and I was approached by this one leader. He said, here is, I need your help. And here’s the thing. And again, ran this massive company, but I have a daughter who’s out of control like she is in danger. 

 

I’m really, really frightened for her. She climbs out the window and stinks out at night, walks barefoot on the ground, and runs off with, I don’t know who and I, and she is drinking and smoking. And you know, like she is with boys, and I’m terrified, and I don’t know what to do. And I’m like, what have you done? Well, I’d put up cameras to monitor her activity, and I’ve taken away her phone, and I’ve grounded her on, like, what is that working? You said no. I said, do you know why? Because you’re trying to control your daughter, but your daughter’s pretty smart. She comes from you. And she’s pretty clear that she’s the one in control. Because every time she sneaks out, what is she doing? 

 

She’s taking control. She is outsmarting you. So why are your actions working? Because every time you increase the rules and the regulations, what do you do? You create further tension, further distance, and further stress in your relationship. And the truth is you have no control. Once you start to see that and admit that once you accept that you have no control, now we can create a plan. The plan is that in order for you to have an impact and make a difference in your daughter’s life, you have to be close to her. You have to have a relationship with her, and you can have a relationship from a place of control. 

 

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What is Business Resilience: Trust, Influence, and Inspiring Growth

 

So how do we give her control and increase the intimacy in this relationship so that your influence is stronger, and by influence, I mean so that you’re modeling the right behavior so that you’re showing her what’s possible so that you are inspiring her to be her best self? So you’re giving her opportunities. So you are showing her a version of herself that she could live into, but when you control her, what you’re really saying is, I don’t trust you. I don’t believe in you. I don’t have faith in you. I don’t have a good future for you. You’re making bad decisions, and you’re bad. You’re wrong or incompetent. 

 

I don’t trust you. And when a person feels that way, what do they do? They either shrink or are they rebel exactly or runaway. So for me, working with him, it’s helping him understood stand what he wanted and what role he needed to play, to harness what he wanted. 

 

It’s powerful. And as you were sharing that example, I’m thinking of, okay, I’m sort of a really selfish thinking. My daughter, she’s 14. And so, the example really hit home for me. So I’m, that’s impacted me in one way. And then I’m also thinking about my teammates or fellow owners and their teammates and whatnot in thinking, okay, I think the supplies, whether you have a daughter at home, or we’re talking about teammates, right? Where are you? You said your influence is higher, but you can’t. Or if it’s higher, if you’re inspiring them, giving opportunities and so forth, but you can’t have a relationship from a place of control. I think that’s really insightful. 

 

You can have a healthy relationship. You can have a healthy relationship from a place of control when you are in control or when you attempt to be in control of what happens to the person in front of you. Let’s call that person. Your daughter learns really, really well how to lie so that they can live their lives. Cause we were all brought onto this earth to live our lives, to experiment, to try to have ownership of our lives. And so, as children, why do kids lie? Because they don’t want to have conflict with their parents. They want harmony. So, like, I don’t want that friction. It’s important to me that I get your approval, right? 

 

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What is Business Resilience: Avoiding Common Coaching Mistakes for Owners and Teams

 

So they learned to lie and parents unfortunately set up their kids. So that the only way for them to live is to lie. And then they get really mad. The worst thing as a kid could do is lie, right? 

 

No. Well, I know that you have a list and hopefully it’s not a long list before it gets is. It probably is. And I say, hopefully just for the benefit of owners, but Alyssa’s coaching mistakes, and may be the biggest coaching mistakes. We love to get your point of view on the biggest coaching mistakes you see owners making when they’re trying to help their teams be more resilient to navigate the choppy waters to be better. 

 

Great. This is my favorite subject. So lots and lots of coaches out there are big fans and big believers, and they endorse and expose the concept of being empathetic. And I would say to you that that is one of the biggest Coaching with mistakes you can make. Wow. Really? Okay. So, let’s talk about it because a lot of people don’t really understand the term empathy. They don’t, they get it sort of, but they don’t truly get it. Let’s talk about it. Okay. So, what is empathy? Empathy is an emotional experience. 

 

It’s not an intellectual process. It’s not understanding. It’s emotional, and empathy is when you put yourself in the shoes of another person and literally feel their emotional state. So it’s putting yourself in the shoes of another person and feeling their feelings. If they feel grief, you feel grief. So why is that a bad thing? So, let’s say you’re walking by and you see someone drowning in a pool. How do they feel scared, fearful, threatened, right? 

 

For sure. So, if I have empathy in that moment, I feel fear, desperation, panic, and breathlessness, and the moment I feel those things, I can’t help that person anymore. I have disabled myself. In fact, what I’ve done is I’ve jumped in the pool and started drowning right beside them. So this does not mean don’t be compassionate. It doesn’t mean seeing the person drown and keep walking. It means to see a person drowning. I acknowledge that they’re drowning and stand solidly on the side of the pool, reach in, and pull them out, but do not jump in and start drowning beside them. In order for me to have that strength, I have to be able to envision them safely outside of the pool. 

 

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What is Business Resilience: A Key Strategy for Owners and Leaders

 

So when they’re flailing about that, doesn’t take me down with them. That is super counterintuitive. 

 

I know coaching mistakes. Number two, very often, as owners and leaders, one of the biggest mistakes we make is focusing on behaviors instead of beliefs. So when we see someone behaving a certain way, number one is we immediately have an interpretation of what they’re doing, why they’re doing it, et cetera. And what we want to do is get them to do things differently. We jump to the doing instead of understanding the beliefs that drive the behavior. When we try to just change behavior, we get change. But typically, it’s not sustainable change. We only get sustainable change when beliefs match the long-term behavioral goals is lasting change. 

 

Exactly. So very often, the owner’s leader says, just do it this way. And what they find is that people revert back to the old way because their beliefs aren’t lined up with the new behavior. 

 

So, is it right for us as owners? Like when I think of somebody as beliefs, I think of those as deeply personal something that that should be valued. And so is it. Am I correct? So let me give this back to you, and you correct me. Am I correct in thinking, okay, this behavior needs to change? I need to help that person change their belief system, but in my case, is it my right to do so? 

 

I mean, this is what I will tell you; this is a lot for all of us. Every single one of us has a set of beliefs that aren’t necessarily designed to support us for a belief. 

 

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What is Business Resilience: Moving Beyond Instant Solutions to Foster Independence and Accountability

 

It could be there is a wide range of beliefs, right? It could range from things like, I don’t know how to do that. I don’t wanna mess it up too. I don’t deserve that too. I don’t have enough experience or education to do that either. No one’s ever gonna love me too. Well, I thought we were supposed to do it this way. 

 

So when you said that, that triggered me to go back into my notes when we were talking about the three things in common, and you said about challenging their beliefs. What do I believe to be true about this adversity? And then you followed it up by saying, is that actually true? So we can have some beliefs. Yes. But then, it doesn’t mean that they are accurate. Correct. Many of them are not. Okay. Gotcha. 

 

And then a challenge or, sorry, my mistake, number three is that most often, as leaders, as owners, we jump in and offer solutions. We say, just do this. We know the answers, and we want to move fast, but we don’t have the patience to go through the coaching process. So we just offer instant solutions, and we don’t do any of the other stuff. 

 

And that cripples our team for the future, doesn’t it? Right. When we jump to solutions, it is the same thing as giving a kid instructions to just go brush your teeth, the same thing. And it doesn’t, in the long run, create the kind of team we’re looking to create an independent, highly accountable team. Instead, we’re spending all of our time holding people accountable, which is exhausting. It was really good, okay. Number four. 

 

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What is Business Resilience: Practical Journaling for Clarity and Goal Achievement

 

There is no number four. I’m only giving you the top three. There is a lot more, but I mean, these are the most important counterintuitive list, especially the first one with an empathetic and then, but the pool example really drives that home and has a great, great visual is a great example about why jump in and then start drowning alongside them, stand strong on the side of the pool and help them get out. That’s the solution like that. I love it. It is really great conversation. It is. I knew that it would be, and I’m grateful for you saying yes, Kim, to come back so that we can say, well, I mean, this was just amazing. And a lot of fun along the way, too. I know we covered a lot, and I know our time is quickly coming to an end, but before we go, before we close out and say goodbye, is there anything you think we might’ve missed? 

 

Anything else that you’d like to share? And then, and then please do tell Onward Nation business owners, is that the best way to connect with you? 

 

So I’ll do this. You know, if you guys are listening and you think to yourself, okay, I get it. It’s all theoretical. Now what? Right? Engaged in this very practical, tangible exercise. It’s a journaling exercise. As you know, I am a big fan of journaling. So here are the two questions I want you to write down: question number one: what do I really truly want more than anything? And think about what you want, not what somebody wants for you, not what is expected of you not what you think you should want, but what you truly deeply want. Then write that down, and describe it in as much detail and flavor as you want. And then the next question is, so what’s stopping me from having what I want right now. 

 

What’s getting in the way? And I will say to you that when you write all the reasons down, that is a really great starting point for helping you understand the beliefs that might be getting in your way and interfering with your ability to reach the goals you want to reach. And that is playing havoc with your emotions, with your energy, with your optimism, with your ability to get from where you want to be. 

 

That’s a powerful exercise. So the journaling exercise with the two questions that you just give us is something that somebody does one time, and now they have it in their journal. 

 

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What is Business Resilience: Last Bit of Advice and Connect with Kim

 

Yeah, it’s a thing that you do relatively often. Do it once a month, once a quarter, if you are running quarterly business meetings, do it with your quarterly business meetings, make them part of your, okay? Ours. See if you’re on task. 

 

Yeah, that’s so awesome. All right. The best way to connect with you, Kim. 

 

The best way to connect with me is [email protected]. And for those of you who are super bold and you’ve done the journaling exercise, send it my way. I’d be happy to review it with you. 

 

Okay. Onward Nation, no matter how many notes you took or how often you go back and re-listen to Kim’s words of wisdom and insights. And I sure hope that you do the key she has; you have to take what she so generously shared with you, take it and apply it to your business and life, and accelerate your results in Kim. We all have the same 86,400 seconds in a day. And I am grateful that you said yes again to come back to the show and be our great mentor and guide. Once again, thank you so much for helping us move our businesses onward to that next level. Thank you, Kim. It was an absolute pleasure 

 

This episode is complete. So head over to OnwardNation.com for show notes and more foods to fuel your ambition. Continue to find your recipe for success here at Onward Nation. 

 

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