Validation in Communication

Episode 994: Validation in Communication, with Mary Shores

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Validation in communication—Learn the power of validating others’ emotions for more effective communication – explore validation in communication

Are you looking for validation in communication but not sure how to go about it? Well, our guest, Mary Shores, will help you with that by teaching you her strategies, so make sure to listen in full to today’s episode.

Mary Shores is an innovative collection agency owner, communication expert, and best-selling author who transforms people’s words to help them fall back in love with their work and their customers. Fifteen years ago, Mary discovered a game-changing formula to connect to your customers and clients. It all started with a Do-Not-Say List and grew into an entire strategy that will fix your relationships and grow your business.


What you’ll learn in this episode is about validation in communication

  • What big changes Mary has experienced in her business and strategic thinking since her previous appearance in Onward Nation episode 781
  • How realizing the power of validation in communication transformed Mary’s business and created profound opportunities
  • How the myriad challenges of 2020 showed us that transparency is a powerful and vital communication tool that builds brand trust and strengthens relationships
  • Why strong transparency is the first step in clearly defining and articulating your strategy to those outside your organization
  • Why the way we have been conditioned to speak is opposite to how we can actually create a real connection, and why we must learn to communicate differently
  • How neuroscience shows that validation communication is a powerful trust builder, and why validating feelings of the people you’re speaking with matters
  • Why the secret recipe of “validate, activate, integrate” can transform your relationships with your customers and anyone you interact with
  • How the global pandemic has presented a golden opportunity for Mary to teach other debt collection agencies how to communicate with greater empathy and understanding
  • What words appear on Mary’s “Do-Not-Say List” in her debt collection business, and why those particular words are banned
  • Why now is the ideal time to experience exponential growth in your business and career through the extraordinary power of collaboration


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Validation in Communication: Full Episode Transcript


Get ready to find your recipe for success from America’s top business owners here at Onward Nation with your host. Stephen Woessner.


Good morning, Onward Nation. I’m Stephen Woessner CEO of Predictive ROI. And your host for today’s episode, I decided to invite one of our Onward Nation alumnus back for an Encore. So we could dial in our communication strategies. Now you may remember Mary Shores from Episode 781. She’s a successful CEO, author and speaker. What I love about her is how she rolls up her sleeves for all of the trenches work by teaching business owners, like you and me, how to reach their full potential by using what she calls the communication code, or the code for short, she has also the author of the best selling book, conscious communications, your step by step guide to harnessing the power of your words, to change your mind, your choices and your life. 


And I love how Mary places so much emphasis on the power of our words. Words are something simple, something easy, and yet something very profound when we get them. Right. But unfortunately, most of us don’t. So when Mary and I reconnected recently, I asked her, Hey, would you come back to Onward and share how you and your team have doubled down on being helpful to your audience and in doing so, you are able to not only add value to existing audience members, you were able to grow your audience during a pandemic. She agreed. As you might imagine, one of the keys to Mary’s success has been in the words she has chosen and then powerfully shared with their audience. 


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Validation in Communication: Mary Shores’ Introduction


As you’ll here, it can be the little things like a quote-unquote, do not say List the result and growing your profits, boosting the morale of your team, and communicating more effectively with your clients and prospects. Exciting Onward Nation so without further ado, welcome back. Mary Shores. I am so excited to be back with you, Mary. I am super excited to have you back, and thank you for being generous with your time for a second time. A very, very kind of you. I can’t believe it’s been a couple of hundred episodes since you and I have had this opportunity to do this. 


So I’m very, very grateful for that, but because there’s been a bit of time that has a past and a lot has been going on in the national scale, as well as international scale, obviously take us behind the curtain and tell us what’s new high level about your business. And then, and then we’ll dive into how you have been helpful to your audience. The communication code high level will get eye level with the Do-Not-Say List. So first take us behind the curtain and tell us what’s new. 


What is validation in communication? Sure. Well in order to go behind the curtain to say what’s new, I feel like I want to just dial it back a little bit and kind of think about what was my mindset, maybe about a year and a half to two years ago. And there was a day that I was listening to a podcast. Have you ever listened to one of those episodes, and it really just turned the light bulb off? And so I had a light bulb moment and it was someone talking about businesses that hit their ceiling at like these plateaus whether it’s 1 million or 1.5 million or 2 million, but it’s like, they have one growth year after another, after another, after another. 


And then they plateau at one at 1 million or one and a half million, and they might stay there for a number of years. Do you know what I’m talking about? Yep, absolutely. So this podcast was talking about that in the reason that they gave for it hit me. And that was the light bulb. They said the problem is that when people become a seven-figure business, they really still have a six-figure mindset to grow their business. You have to have an eight-figure business mindset. And I thought I’m gonna get me one of those things right here right now.


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Validation in Communication: How Shifting My Mindset Transformed My Business Strategy


How do you explain validation in communication? So then what happens is I start to have to ask myself, what are the differences in decision-making between someone who owns an eight-figure business versus someone who owns a six-figure business and really it’s worlds apart, worlds apart six-figure businesses? People wear many hats, right? Eight-figure businesses that don’t work. So it was a little things like that. So behind the curtain has been this period for me of reinventing my strategic thinking process and reinventing ever. 


Just that one statement and reinventing my strategic thinking have led to both small changes and large changes in literally every area of my business. 


Now. Okay. So it sounds like it, let me just give that back to you. It sounds like the thinking about this six or seven, eight-figure business mindset that does sound like that was really profound, but it sounds like it led you on a journey for further discovery changes in your business. Maybe how you are communicating with clients, prospects, your audience, am I tracking with you? 


What is validation in communication? Absolutely. Because, in order to understand that profile difference, which by the way, I mean, because I was hitting a plateau and not that things were scarce, there was no, there was no reason to panic, but the numbers weren’t going up, and I was a little perplexed by that so I was like, I want the numbers to go up again. And I miss those days of seeing that chart go in the right direction. and then it really was an understanding of having to go into every little small area and restrategize the decision-making process. And so I’m still kind of going through that. 


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Validation in Communication: The Power of Transparency and Credibility


Okay. So what you uncovering, what you’re learning, what you’re discovering, not only is that helping you in your business, but are you also then I don’t know what the right word is like filtering that or, or moving that into, like, when I think of the communication code is that now being — I don’t want to say revised is that somehow is that impact that your learning here with this, with the eight-figure mindset, is that they also transcending into how you teach, how you share in how you are showing up for clients. Is that also on stage in that way, too? 


Sure. It is. And I think that well, 2020 was this whole year of doing that because more than ever, transparency became an absolute importance, more than ever relationships meant everything more than ever the transparency. And in order to have a business and In, and establish your credibility in wherever we, where are we land with this new normal concept is like the old ways don’t work anymore. 


What is validation in communication? And so on the communication front, it’s like, how can you be ultra transparent and be about what you say about it? It was no longer okay to have some kind of a marketing slogan or a marketing promise, or have a brand promise on your website that is not being followed up with, with the actual activities and deliverables that your business promises do, you know? 


Oh, absolutely. So Onward, Nation, if you haven’t already downloaded or downloaded, I would encourage you to do what Mary is referring to. If you want to see some really amazing data around that, I would encourage you to go to Edelman the global PR agency, and download their 2020 trust barometer and absolutely a hundred percent agree with you. Mary the data is very clear brands, not trustworthy anymore. If they violate the transparency that you’re speaking of a hundred percent agree. Right? 


Yeah. And I found that there are a few ways because ya know, so many people are so many people are business owners, entrepreneurs. It’s, you’ve been in a game as long as I have, which has been decades. Now you develop very, very long-term relationships. And there’s been such a transitional period. There’s been such a reshaping and reorganization that I don’t think you can rely on the old golf buddy anymore. So to speak things need to be done differently. Things are reinventing themselves. And I found that there are a couple of ways that you can really instill that credibility. I think that one of the things is understanding what is the problem. 


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Validation in Communication: Unveiling the Power of Unique Value Propositions in Business Strategy


You solve it in what is nice and then become an expert in that area. I think that is so important to be known for that thing. But cause we’ve set that up for a long time, right? But here’s the extra caveat to it is that when you make that unique value proposition that you are known for, you make that more of your strategy, more of your transparency. In other words, you’re letting your own clients behind the curtain see that magic marketing. 


I can see how that would be a very powerful litmus test. Wouldn’t it be? Because they would then see you in full transparency and very congruent with what you’re saying, right? 


Absolutely. Because when they see them behind the curtain, then they can gain their trust. And I think that the other part of this is when you find that like-minded math when you find when your strategy becomes your marketing, then people who want that strategy will gravitate towards you. Right? So, for example, in my industry, I currently have one of the most unique jobs on the planet because I am passionate about training debt, collectors, and how to be more compassionate through their communication. And I love that because I love seeing the transformation, but there are going to be agencies who are looking for that kind of strategy. 


What is validation in communication? There are going to be agencies, especially because of COVID that are saying, you know what I want all of my I want all of my call center to be a kind and compassionate call center, but they may not know how to make that transition. So they look for how to do it. And then boom, they find me in the land on my strategy because they know that that’s what I’m about. And that’s how they can make that transition. Now, someone else might or might want a tech or a tech solution. So if they are looking for tech, then they’re going to find a company that AI, is there a strategy, but you’ll find that people are melding into transitioning into forming new relationships, to those that are of like-minded strategies for what they themselves are looking for. 


And then that kind of like creates this really amazing opportunity for credibility. 


Yeah. Super smart. Okay. So I wonder if this will be a good transition into a high level of the communication code, because we would really love Onward Nation business owners to get a better understanding, again, a high level of the communication code. And then, at some point maybe in our conversation, we’d go a little bit more eye level, but when you say the communication code, what are you referring to? 


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Validation in Communication: Unlocking the Neurological Keys to Effective Communication


So yes, I know. Oh, by the way, I always love talking about the communication code for me. Communication is our world, especially right now communication is, is how we interact with other people in our world. Miscommunication is probably one of the most costly things. And it’s easy to get ourselves into this situation with miscommunication. And more importantly, a connection is currency. So the code is so important because connection is currency. Connection is how we interact with those people, and with other people. And the code is how to do it in a way that works because the way we’ve been conditioned to speak is actually the opposite of what we’ll work to build a connection. 


And that’s really important to understand because my idea here was in order to codify communication, I needed to understand the neurology of it. So the communication code is, is really a neurological system of communication that creates deep connections. And so there is a couple of there’s, there’s an easy way to set it up, but it’s really about validate, activate, integrate. So validating being, whatever someone tells you, whether they are, whether you agree with them or not. When you understand that their point of view is valid and you acknowledge that because we all, every single one of us in order to move on in a conversation, need to check the box that we’ve been heard and understood. 


What is validation in communication in business? And we will stay in a way that we will stay stuck in a conversation in this one part of the story unless we feel heard and understood, and especially people who are in the coaching industry really consider that because sometimes you might be telling your client that their experience isn’t valid and you wouldn’t be doing that intentionally. But when you fail to say I can see why you’d be concerned about that, or I can completely see where the challenge is, or I can understand that as a frustrating situation to you without validation people don’t feel hurt and they can’t check that box, which means they’ll, they’ll stay stuck. 


And then we move into that activating and what we’re trying to activate is a spark of happiness. We want to plant a seed of happiness with our words so that whoever we’re communicating with begins to anticipate what that solution is, because if you’re in business today, it’s because you’ve got kick-ass solutions and you want to give those solutions to other people, but they are in neurology. Their minds need to be in a receptive place to receive your solution. 


Yeah. I love that. So if we are okay, let me see if I can give a scenario here back to you. So let’s say that we’re in validation and we want to be heard and understood, but for whatever reason, we’re kind of butting heads in that, in that conversation. And then somebody is trying to get to activate before, we’ve become unstuck. Before Before really, we should be one. Is that, what happens if somebody tries to move through validate, activate, and integrate, either too quickly or haphazardly? What happens? 


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Validation in Communication: The Vital Role of Validation in Building Connection


What is validation in communication? Well, they are going to change the flow of what’s happening in the person’s mind. Who’s who is the listener or whoever they are communicating with. and really, it’s still better to do the things, even if it’s not done at the border. One of the things I would say is, let’s just say your customer or your client calls you and their reporting problems. And if we don’t validate them, then what’s likely to happen in the conversation is for them to continue to revisit. And re-explain the problem. Yeah. Right. So they might get kind of repetitive and each time that they have, they feel the need to repeat themselves, they might get a little bit more frustrated and they might start to go down that frequency scale of emotion, where, where the stress of chemicals are beginning to come out. 


And when I say stress chemicals, I’m really talking about adrenaline and cortisol. And once those stress chemicals come out well now they are shifting a little bit out of their rational brain. OK. This means that when you are trying to present a solution to them, they’re going to be resistant. So if you’ve ever been talking to someone like a friend or a family member and you know, you’re telling them the answer to their questions that they’re resisting it’s because their mind was more in that stress response because we can’t both be in the stress response in the actual, in spots at the same time. Therefore, I think that validation is the most important piece to begin that receptivity. 


And to begin that concept of connection. No, I think this is so important. And in super-smart that the process begins With when you said codify and communication, that Validation is that first step, that first ingredient, whatever the right way would be to describe that because so important when we try to move past that, then like you said, not only do we get stuck, but then the other person feels less valued. Really I am right. I mean that because we want to be heard and understood, but we want to be valued and we want to have our voices heard and that’s the ingredient to being valued. Right. 


Absolutely late. I mean, it could not ring more true it is a basic human need. In fact, when we’re talking about emotional needs, we need to feel heard and understood it is the number one most important and no most needed emotional need and let’s face it. You know, we’re living in a time of alienation a couple of years ago, I read a quote and I don’t want to say it’s an exact quote, but I believe I heard the quote as loneliness is the sickness of our time. And that quote was from a fit, not Hahn, the Buddhist monk. 


And it really struck me. And I will tell you something I was talking about this concept of Validation and of course, I talk about it all the time. And I was discussing it with my buddy Steve. And he said you should teach people how to listen because one of the problems is we don’t really listen to each other. And so I did, I liked looking at it, this process of listening, and whenever I’m training people, one of the things that I know I noticed in my classes is how people find it the most difficult to validate another person’s experience if they don’t agree with them. 


Acquire additional knowledge about validation in communication by tuning in to our free tutorial: Our “Seed & Open Loops” Framework


Validation in Communication: The Power of Validation in Communication


Hey, Onward Nation I wanted to take a quick break from the episode to share a practical and tactical Resource with you. When we first released our book profitable podcasting, it became a number one new release on Amazon in less than 18 hours. Well, that was nearly three years ago and we’re still getting great feedback on how helpful the book has been to business owners. Just like you, as they launched a podcast to build their business. When I think the strategy is that you can be applying right now during these challenging times, having your own show, which will be a conduit that you could use to teach and share your insights with your community, launching a podcast, or growing your existing show really should be at the top of your list. 


I want to help you get started by giving you access to a free chapter of my book. Just go to And you’ll get the chapter where I show you how to confront and overcome your three biggest obstacles to success. and we will send it right to your inbox. 


So like yesterday afternoon, when my son was telling me that I’ve never bought him any shoes, just thought to myself, a kid, are you kidding me? Are you kidding me with this? Do you know, I have bought to hundreds of pairs of shoes, right? This is how these kinds of conversations go. No, it’s not about the details. When you validate someone’s experience, it’s about acknowledging their feeling. And this has layers. This is dimensional. You know, this is not something that our eyes and ears in our prefrontal cortex conscious mind understand. 


There’s a lot more stuff going on. And so when you, when I’m just thinking in my mind, Oh my gosh, this kid he’s so ungrateful. What about the $150 shoes? I’d just bought it three months ago and I’m responding to them saying, well, don’t you remember those hiking boots? I’d just bought you. It’s just making it worse for him. And now we’re going towards the path of conflict. You know, everything you say is either creating conflict or a connection. And so what we need to do is move toward that path of connection. 


Acquire additional knowledge about validation in communication by tuning in to our free tutorial: Our “Seed & Open Loops” Framework


Validation in Communication: The Power of Validation in Difficult Conversations


Okay. So let’s stay on this example here. This is a super relevant example. One because we’ve probably all had conversations either. Exactly like that are pretty similar to like that whether personally or in the workplace, maybe not about shoes in the workplace, but a super relevant example. So how do you validate in that situation? But then also I assume as a parent, you, you do want him to, to, to, to recognize the fact that you did just buy a pair of $150 hiking boots. So we know how did that conversation fully play out? 


Well, it is still an ongoing conversation. So I’m going to, I’m going to codify this. Okay. Now the thing that you want to do, it’s hard to do. You know, especially if it’s such a physical disagreement that you’re having that visceral reaction to what the other person says. It’s really not about the details of the situation, but about the emotion or some kind of need that you know, that person has been neat at that moment. And so what is fascinating to me is the research done by Matthew Lieberman, who is a social scientist neuroscientist. 


What is validation in communication? And so what is doing is he did a study that shows when you label an emotion, it instantly creates happier chemicals and dissipates the stress chemicals. So what I really needed to do was to understand that it’s really about the feeling that he’s experiencing. It’s not about the shoes. It’s never about the thing that the person has expressed it. And it can be very difficult to give them what they need, which is to feel heard and understood. And so I can simply provide that by saying that sounds really challenging. And the tendency is to say something that is defending yourself, which is actually exactly what I did. 


What is validation in communication? I’m a little embarrassed to admit because I started pointing out to him that I had just purchased him hiking shoes a couple of months ago. But if I can say to him that it doesn’t really sound frustrating, then it instantly removes those stress chemicals of frustration that he started to feel. And as I’m validating in making him feel heard and understood, he’s actually now starting to create more bonding hormones such as they suppress it. Okay. And so then that sets you up to move into activate. Am I tracking with you? 


Well, once you validate it, it sets you up to then activate happiness by saying something by saying something positive by like saying something such as I’m happy to sit down with you and look at the shoes in your closet and see what you might need or see what you might have thought. You transition from that validation to a little tiny bridge. ’cause the activating happiness. It’s really just a bridge from that to the integrated, which is going to now be the solution. So that sounds really frustrating. I’d be so happy to sit down with you this weekend and just look at your closet. 


Acquire additional knowledge about validation in communication by tuning in to our free tutorial: Our “Seed & Open Loops” Framework


Validation in Communication: Navigating Emotional Conversations with Validation and Action


And so they sort out the shoe situation so that just led seamlessly into the solution. 


Interesting. Okay. So, let’s play that out. So then that weekend, when you sit down to review the closet, what do you know what he has or doesn’t have that might actually open up the conversation about, well, he might need shoes for a specific event or maybe there’s the sporting thing or maybe there’s something else or whatever, but, but just on the surface, it comes out as you never by me, anything when the reality, that’s not true, but there, there is something else that is really driving that feeling, right. 


What is validation in communication? You’re absolutely right. What he was referring to was that he hasn’t replaced his basketball shoes and a couple of years, but you can’t get to that because oftentimes the way we react and the way in this situation, and I reacted because I’m not perfect as a parent, but I said, well, what about the shoes that I just bought to you? And now he doesn’t feel heard and understood, which moves him into the conflict zone. And when he’s in a conflict zone, his natural reaction is going to be to attack or escape, meaning someone that just wants to get away from you or someone that is going to snap back with another reaction, huge aha. 


In a great transparent lesson. Thank you for sharing that with us. We’ve all been in situations like that before where they were talking about a business or with our kids, that this is a great, great example in maybe even more so With with kids or, or the emotionality of those relationships, like when the emotion is really even high or higher, it, it makes it even harder to validate, activate, integrate. Right. Absolutely. Really smart. Oh, okay. So then, I know that you haven’t got to the integration piece yet, or the integrated piece yet maybe about the shoes, or maybe you have, so what would be the integrated step in that example, just following her around? 


So in this example is going to be the action that is on tape. So in this example, it’s totally just saying, okay, I will sit down and sort through shares and see what you need. So, that is going to lead us down a different path. But in order for the person to be receptive, to be able to do the action piece, one of the most important aspects of this, and again, it can be challenging because it’s not the con, not the way we’ve been conditioned to speak, but we always want to talk about what we can do instead of what we can do. 


Acquire additional knowledge about validation in communication by tuning in to our free tutorial: Our “Seed & Open Loops” Framework


Validation in Communication: Doubling Down on Helpfulness in Times of Crisis


Yeah. I love that. Okay. Take us into when you and I were going back and forth about you coming back for an Encore. I was so glad to hear that you’d be willing to talk about some strategies and how you and your team doubled down on being helpful to your audience. I know communication plays a very big piece in that. So, so how, how did you do that? How did you double down on being helpful to your audience? And then what did you see as a result of that? 


What is validation in communication? You know, it’s just been incredible because I think that one won the COVID-19 lottery in some way, shape, or form. It is somebody who has been seeing the need for change for a very long time, and the top of the type of change I’m talking about is more in my debt collection industry. Like I’ve seen the need for there to be a real focus on compassionate in that industry. And so with COVID, it gave me the opportunity to see the need and be at the right place at the right time. And so what I have been able to double down on in with my audience is when the beginning of pan, the pandemic hit in March of 2020, a lot of debt collection agencies were getting shut down by their state governments. 


And what that meant was they had to lay a lot of people off. They had to figure out what to do with the people who owed money. I was able to go there and teach them how to communicate with people during the crisis. So communication during the crisis just all of a sudden became the forefront and I was able to step right in and I got right to work and figured out, how am I going to alter my communication now that we’re all dealing with this and we’re all dealing with it globally. 


Okay. So I’m going to make an assumption here and maybe I’m wrong. So I guess correct me if I am. So was the, Do-Not-Say list was that an ingredient in that recipe? 


Always So just for the audience’s sake, it’s something that I know you think is very cool. There’s a “Do not Say List” so one of the ways that I’ve run my business since 2005 is that we have a “Do not Say List” and the words on the “Do not Say List”, won’t however be ended fortunately. The reason is that we don’t want to say these words in it, and this is mostly in a business situation, but we don’t want to say these words because when these words are heard, they trigger a negative response in your neurology. So if you, what that means is if I had a participant and I put them in an MRI machine and I subject them to the word, and fortunately, they’re going to have a very specific reaction in the brain, which is going to cause stress chemicals. 


Acquire additional knowledge about validation in communication by tuning in to our free tutorial: Our “Seed & Open Loops” Framework


Validation in Communication: The Power of Validation in Challenging Situations


And you always want to keep the connection going by keeping people in that more positive state of mind. 


Okay. So, take us through maybe some scenarios here, how you’ve seen this play out either with your audience or when you’re teaching and some examples from participants in your teaching and the trenches like that, give us some applications of this because of this, this, I think is one of those you’ve already given us some very profound golden nuggets. I think this is another one. 


What is validation in communication? There is such an opportunity. There is such an opportunity around us. So I’m in the debt collection industry, that’s kind of a rare industry, but really what you want to do is consider maybe you had to lose some clients or maybe a client who had to call you to tell you that they needed to pause their services because, because they can afford it anymore or, or they lost a big client. There’s a whole ripple effect to this reshaping for me. What I’ve learned through this boils down to really being in this together. And one of the things was this concept of stacking Validation. So we really made it a point to tell every person that we talk to, that they were not alone and say to them I can understand that this is a really scary situation. 


So many other people are telling us the same thing you are telling us. So you are not alone and you are not alone. To me, it became those magic words that transformed a lot of negative situations into a positive situation, or at least didn’t feel positive. It felt like this was going to be —  You laugh at me. 


Mary, could you see my notes right now? When you said that you are not alone. I just drew a big circle back-up to validate because that’s what you’re doing when you say that, right? Yes. 


Acquire additional knowledge about validation in communication by tuning in to our free tutorial: Our “Seed & Open Loops” Framework


Validation in Communication: Fostering Growth Through Collaboration and Validation


Okay. So what we’re doing as staffing Validation, then you are, and be willing to find out that I’m totally, always about the nerve science. I’ve got a little neuro nerve inside my mind but, what happens is there is actually a ratio. So we know that, that we know that the human mind is going to respond better to afford water or a five-to-one ratio. You’ve heard this before the whole, like say four nice things for every one piece of negative information in say it in an employee review. 


Yeah. And using your example about pausing and services, right? When a client comes to you Onward Nation says, gosh, we need a pause or our services because, and then List a reason or a number of reasons. Why, it’d be, it would be such a disadvantage. If that reply Mary was, well, unfortunately, we can’t pause because, and then maybe like there’s a 12-month contract or blah, blah, blah, because then that’s going to make the person on the other end. Very defensive. Right. 


Exactly. Exactly. And that’s where we were preparing for her. So when you respond immediately with a validation you do not, I understand that that is challenging for you, you are not the only one other people who are telling us the same. You’re not alone. Then It is every moment of that. You’re honestly doing the opposite of what they expect now when someone provides a surprise like that, it really just creates a feeling that we all know. And that is the feeling that this is going to be okay. 


Yeah. That’s super smart. And it goes back to 10, 15 minutes ago when you were giving us the lessons around transparency and how that’s important more now than ever, you know? So like the old ways of doing business, they’re old, they are gone, that that is not coming back. Right. 


Absolutely. And you know, I think you were saying that for several years because if you think about it, I always think about it like this. Like when I was a kid I really loved to play Monopoly. Did you play Monopoly? Yes. And I still have it. 


Right. And so here’s the thing about monopoly. There’s only one way to win. And that is, is that you have to bankrupt all your friends. Yes. And what an interesting concept, right? What do you think about a business before the year 2000? And wasn’t it that way? That’s the way I remember it. I don’t know how you remember it, but that’s how I can pray very like a doggy dog. Right. And so now we have this, it’s been 20 years. Okay. 20 years since the new millennium. And we have this reshaping to where, if you want to forge the path forward, if you want to experience exponential growth in your career now is the time now has the opportunity. 


And there is never going to be another time like this in our lifetimes. If you are alive today and you are an entrepreneur, this is the most amazing match that I have ever seen. And it is because all of a sudden, exponential growth is available to us in order to make that happen. The way is collaboration. 


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Validation in Communication: Last Bit of Advice and Connect with Mary


Super smart, Mary. And I know we covered a lot and, but before we go before we close out and say goodbye, and any final advice that you want to share, anything that you think we might have missed. And then please do tell Onward Nation, business owners, the best way to connect with you. 


I think that being open to new solutions, being open to becoming that business, that eight-figure business owner mindset, where you’re thinking to yourself, how it, someone on this other level, maybe there’s someone you admire, what would they do? You know? So sometimes I think of somebody who is way ahead of me as a mentor, and I’ll say, what would this person do? And sometimes, it’s just as easy. It’s more about what are you willing to let go of? So for me, it’s things like doing my own bookkeeping work, or it’s like, why am I doing that? That’s such a waste of my talent and Chazz Palminteri. 


He says the saddest thing in life is wasted talent. So, my advice is to look to that mentor, who’s already achieved what you want to achieve, figure out something that they don’t do that you do, and be willing to let go of that. Be willing to let go of the things that are not in your zone of genius. And the best way to get ahold of me is through LinkedIn. I love LinkedIn. It’s my favorite social media. So, if you’d like to find me there, it’s Mary Shores, and of course, I have Instagram and a website, And if you really did the things we talked about, I would love for you to check out the book Conscious Communication. 


Okay. Onward Nation no matter how many notes you took or how often you go back and relisten to Mary’s words of wisdom, which I sure hope that you do the key is to take all of the golden nuggets that she so generously shared with you today, take them, apply them into your business and accelerate your results and marry. We all have the same 86,400 seconds in a day. And I’m grateful that you took time out of your compressed schedule to come onto the show for a second time to help us move onward to that next level. Thank you so much, Mary. My pleasure. 


This episode has complete. So head over to for show notes and more foods to fuel your ambition. Continue to find your recipe for success here at Onward Nation. 


Acquire additional knowledge about validation in communication by tuning in to our free tutorial: Our “Seed & Open Loops” Framework

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The Sell with Authority Podcast is for agency owners, business coaches, and strategic consultants who are looking to grow a thriving, profitable business that can weather the constant change that seems to be our world’s reality.

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