Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Episode 975: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, with Tommy Breedlove
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Overcoming imposter syndrome, a podcast episode with Tommy Breedlove. Learn how to feel good and worthy by overcoming imposter syndrome.
Overcoming imposter syndrome will provide you with the progress you want and help you achieve personal breakthroughs. Tommy created his cornerstone content in the form of his book, Legendary, by doing this.
Tommy Breedlove is a Wall Street Journal & USA Today bestselling author of the book, Legendary, and Atlanta-based business, relationship, and mindset coach who is regularly featured keynote speaker at global events. He serves clients and audiences by empowering them to build and live Legendary Lives. He guides them to build a lasting legacy, work in their zone of brilliance, obtain financial confidence, and live with meaning and balance.
What you will learn in this episode about overcoming imposter syndrome:
- How Tommy spent three years working on his book Legendary, and how overcoming imposter syndrome became the breakthrough he deserves
- Why Tommy scrapped his original draft after struggling with the imposter syndrome and decided to start his book over again, writing from the heart
- How Legendary surprised Tommy by opening many new business opportunities including keynote speaking opportunities, coaching and masterminds
- What key lessons and golden nuggets Tommy hopes business owners and corporate executives will take from reading his book
- What advice Tommy has to offer to business leaders by helping them on their journey towards overcoming imposter syndrome
- Why loving yourself is the key to conquering your fears, and why it is important to catch yourself in the cycle of self-loathing and interrupt it with thoughts of self-love
- Why surrounding himself with people moving in the same direction Tommy is moving in has been crucial for helping overcome his “Tommy-go-round” cycle of negative thoughts
- How writing Legendary has helped build Tommy’s business by giving him “instant credibility”
- Why writing a book and basing it on vulnerability and authenticity can be a powerful tool that can greatly benefit your business
- Why the two best pieces of advice Tommy was ever given were to “participate in your own rescue” and to “take control of your story and write the best ending”
How to Connect with Tommy Breedlove:
- Visit Tommy’s website and enjoy free gifts for listeners of Onward Nation
- Read Tommy’s book Legendary and learn about overcoming imposter syndrome to unlock your own legendary potential
- LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/legendarybook/
- LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/company/tommy-breedlove/
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/tommybreedlovelegendary
- Twitter: @TommyBreedlove
Additional Resources:
- Sell With Authority by Drew McLellan and Stephen Woessner: https://amzn.to/39y7x13
- Predictive ROI Free Resource Library: https://predictiveroi.com/resources/
- Stephen Woessner’s LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/stephenwoessner/
- Learn about overcoming imposter syndrome through Stephen’s perspective
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Full Episode Transcript
Get ready to find your recipe for success and overcoming imposter syndrome from America’s top business owners here at Onward Nation with your host, Stephen Woessner.
Good morning. I’m Stephen Woessner, CEO of Predictive ROI and your host for Onward Nation and today’s episode is going to be an opportunity for us to sit back and have another amazingly insightful conversation with Tommy Breedlove. In our first interview, which was way back, I mean, way back Onward Nation and it was episode 651, which aired on December 28th, 2017. We talk through many, I mean, many golden nuggets, like why we shouldn’t live in the state of fear or scarcity, which was a very valuable lesson.
Today, it is important to live a life that honors your values and focuses on what you’re good at. And then this wrestling that we always go through. Onward Nation, as business owners, we always go through this wrestling, delegating the rest. So now let’s fast forward three years to today. Tommy is the Wallstreet Journal and USA Today bestselling author of the book entitled Legendary He serves clients and audiences by empowering them to build and live Legendary Lives, which are great lessons for all of us, as we’re still trying to navigate the choppy waters of this crisis. And so the nuggets, the lessons out of his book that we’re going to do, that’s what we’re going to break down in this very special encore.
And just like last time, my guess is that this conversation with Tommy, it was going to take some really interesting twists and turns along the way too. So without further ado, welcome back to Onward Nation, Tommy.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Tommy Breedlove’s Introduction
Stephen what an honor to be here or what an honor to be back on Onward Nation, and I’m truly humbled and grateful to be here, brother. When you hear your voice again, they are world-class in your craft, my friend. Thank you for saying that. It is an honor to have you back my friend. So thank you for seeing yes. And I’m excited to talk about the golden nuggets of your book.
I’m excited to talk about the path and journey that was your book. And also the impact of that thought leadership. You’ve planted your flag and created this really amazing piece of work and how that’s impacted your business. So there’s going to be a lot of great lessons in there for Onward Nation business owners. But before we do that, it’s been three years since we’ve had a chance to do this. So bring us up to speed, take us behind the curtain, and tell us what’s new, and then we’ll go it.
So really behind the curtain and just being completely authentic and vulnerable. I’ve been in a fistfight with myself for three years over this book. And our mutual friend of ours, Tom Schwab we’ll give him some love from Interview Valet, asking me to write a book because of my journey from out of the financial world and walking away at the top of my game and what had been through it. And honestly it just never felt, and it kinda had that way in business too.
You know, I was doing good things and right things and we were growing. But I wasn’t in love with it. And I wasn’t inspired by it. And that reflected its way into the book to him. And I just never found myself interesting enough to write a book about my story and it just never felt right.
And it wasn’t until one night, I was literally two years and nine months into this process. My publisher had lost patients. I had lost patients to the team. It takes a village to write a great book in the village I had around me. It was getting frustrated, and we talked about all of the air. I was struggling with a recovering perfectionist, and I’m not sure if I have recovered at all. But I am working on it. It was with my career, and my business that I started getting laser-focused on God and my lane and serve, and the people that I wanted to serve. That’s when the book came alive. And it was no longer about my perfectionism or my ego in the words, on the page, it was about helping men and women build and live Legendary Lives, which was what my practice grew into the coaching practice, the mastermind retreats that I run it’s all around that.
And when it was no longer about me. I wrote it about how we know what book did I need when I went through my massive transformation. When I got the courage to walk away from my financial career and as a partner of a big firm to go chase this dream. It went from a two year, nine-month fistfight, where the bad side of me was beating the good side of me. Two to three months of just pure joy.
Learn about overcoming imposter syndrome through Stephen’s perspective
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: People Love Books That Are Loaded with Purpose
We rewrote the book from A to Z, it’s got every ounce of blood. And so I have in it. And to me, my legacy project is I believe I’m leaving this world a better place than I found by the words on those pages. And I’m so, so grateful it has commercial success. I think you said it best in these times of uncertainty and economic COVID crisis politics.
And it just seems like a lot of darkness out there. I think people are craving books that are loaded with purpose and to help us overcome fear and to be better people in more time, blah, blah, blah. I think that’s one of the reasons it had commercial success and I’m very grateful, too humble for that.
I think when you’ve just made it about someone else, not you, you know, right? This is the book that literally would have saved my life when I needed it. And so I think that it just becomes a project of love. So if I had to summarize three years finally, finally, for the love of God, we got a good book out there and just being very honest.
No, I appreciate the candidness. Okay. So there are some really great lessons in there. So, let’s go back in time. A publisher delivers what they think is the final version of the manuscript to you. You read it, not enthused by it. Take us into like what happens next. Because we talked about this and overcoming imposter syndrome in the green room, I was really surprised at what happened next. So it sounds like that was the perfect thing to happen next, and I was really surprised. So, tell us that story because I want Onward Nation to hear it.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: The Process of Rewriting the Book
So I got the book back and remembered this book as my words and we had consultants. We had people who would help them with the layout. We had great editors and some ghost writers. I wrote the book with those rodders and write the book. But they just make you sound a lot smarter than we really are.
And so it was my words and I felt like the book had no soul and I can’t describe, you know, there’s things that we can’t describe. It’s like watching a band and a great band on TV or seeing them live. It had no feeling, no heart, no blood, no soul. It was just words. And it didn’t make sense to me. And I was like, I can’t put this out into the world. You know, where are my words for it? That’s even worse.
And so I sent a Jerry Maguire email is what I did. I don’t know if you’ve seen that movie where he is and wrote the role. That thing from his heart and soul at the memo, I wrote a memo to everyone and it might not have been the most graceful moment of my life.
My wife was in Chicago working, and I was home alone and I may or may not have had a couple of bourbons in me. And I called her just cussing and crying and raised in it. She was asleep. She wasn’t giving me any time of day and she had heard this before. But I sat down and I just paused for a minute and I don’t know what happened, but something happened where the new outline came to me and I instantly went and grabbed my computer. Sent a second email to everyone saying this is the book.
And it was just literally the chapters that were there. And now it was a boom. I mean it just hit me almost like a moment of just pure clarity. And I wrote those chapters in what everyone, the team, the whole team felt the next day that it was going to be a firing thing.
And the PR says the publisher is going to fire me, which means they’re all gone too. It ended up becoming one of the best meetings that I’ve ever had. And I could see it in their eyes. They were like, this is the book. This is the book. And even though they were like, if they knew the book had no soul, they’re just not going to tell me. And they didn’t want to hurt my feelings, but, and then we wrote it in three months. I mean every single word was rewritten.
When I got the final copy, I meant, just a moment of humility, a moment of gratitude, a moment of tears. And we were like, this was it. This was the book that was supposed to have all my heart. And so, I asked myself on that couch what book did you need out for those of you that you can hear it?
On the other show, I went through a massive transition at 36 years old. And it went from fear to love, went from being just a mess to something better. And what book did I need at that time? And what book did I need now? And what book would help the people that you serve every single day? And I wrote it for them and me, like from me to me, like a great letter that we need to do sometimes to ourselves.
And it just became something special that I’m so super proud of it. And for me to say, I’m proud of something is a really big deal.
Learn about overcoming imposter syndrome through Stephen’s perspective
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Intention Without Action and Action Without Intention Is Nonsense
So take us back to or even earlier, when you decided to write the book now, and now granted. I’m in the two-year-plus process produced a book that ultimately then you rewrote based on the story you just shared. But why did you decide to like, was it from a business perspective? Was it the age-old saying of talkers or hawkers, that writers are experts? Like, why did you feel like putting in all of this, you know, blood, sweat, and tears into three years of work to now have this book, this great book, but why did you start going down that road?
Pass in the first place? The honest answer. And I’ve read this in a book I read recently by James Victor and I’ll say it this way. Intention without action and action without intention is nonsense. So every action has to have intention and every intention needs action behind it. Otherwise, you know, the intention will never get done.
And so many people I wouldn’t have had just sold my shares in the equity and the partnership as a big financial firm in Atlanta, where I was a senior partner. And I think people around me were just really inspired by that story and what I’d overcome and, the courage it took to walk with on top of your game and go chase a dream, but it didn’t feel pure to me.
I had no intention around the action of writing a book in it. And now what I didn’t realize is how great the book is for your business. I just wanted to write a great book. It wasn’t about a brochure or me becoming an expert. I literally wanted to write it. I wanted to give people hope, and courage, and help them to live the best life they could possibly live.
But back then, there was no intention around my actual. It was just literally friends and family and mentors and coaches telling me, you need to tell your story on overcoming imposter syndrome. I’m like, I don’t want to tell my story. And there are only about five pages, have the book as anything really to do with me.
And so, it didn’t feel like I just started writing because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. And then when I fell in love with it, when I fell in love with the words in the work, and in between those times. So if you’d have told me that I was going to be a featured keynote speaker, a world-class coach who runs masterminds in my own retreats, I would have left you out of the room or even three years ago.
But when people just kept reaching out to me and asking me, you know, you didn’t give up your ambition or drive, but you seem happy, fulfilled your marriage is the best it’s ever been, and you’re more financially successful or a network than you’ve ever been. How did you do it? And so the coaching fell onto my lap and then the masterminds.
And then we started doing retreats and I just saw the impact this was having, and people’s lives not only more success and better networks, but also happier people with better relationships, more intimacy with their families and friends, and being the masters of our time. And I didn’t put two and two together to write that book. Give them the formula that you’ve seen time and time and time again, that helps people build and live Legendary Lives. And Legendary, by the way is not an accidental title. One. I love that in a world of constant self-promotion, especially on social media generation, if Tommy Breedlove or Stephen would call themselves, Legendary people would laugh out of the room.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Books Need to Have a Soul
Legendary is given to us by our peers are family. Our colleagues are communities and societies, and Legendary has about a life of significance, a life of the legacy of life, of impact, how you left this world a little bit better than what we found it. And that’s what this book was all about. And when it became about them in the book, I needed in the formula that I saw, and we made it simple, fun, and executable like you can take action from this book. I didn’t realize how big it would become for our business and our movement and everything we stand for. And so, you know, we talked about it in the green room that everybody says, well, I mean, yeah, I’ve heard I need to write a book, but not everybody writes a book.
Not many people actually write books and the world needs your voice. The world needs your wisdom. The world needs your soul. And to me, books need to have soul music. Without soul it’s ridiculous. You’ll know it immediately, the same thing with books and movies, and the world needs it. And I had no idea from a business and ROI to talk about Predictive. What a great love that, by the way, I just love it and I was in the financial world for 22 years. So I understand the ROI is as good as anyone, but I didn’t realize how impactful from credentialing to money to opening up doors. I never thought would be opened up to being something you’re truly proud of.
Like this is my legacy, and I’m just so proud of it and everything about it and everything it stands for. And so thank you for allowing me to share that. You’re very welcome. And thank you for sharing that I would like for us to dig a little bit deeper into the impact of the book on business building.
However, before we do that, let’s go into some of the big golden nuggets from the book on overcoming imposter syndrome. As in life lessons that our audience would be impacted by. So as you think of our audience, and obviously this is your second time here with Onward Nation. Business owners are as you think of, you know, many of our audience, you know, are agency owners. So they may own an advertising agency, marketing agency, a PR firm, you know, of that kind of thing.
When we think an agency owner, or they might be a business coach and, or they might be a business consultant typically beyond the startup phase, but, you know, wrestling with the same challenges that every business owner is wrestling with right now and navigating the choppy waters that we’re all trying to sail through.
Learn about overcoming imposter syndrome through Stephen’s perspective
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: The Journey of The Book
So, as you think about that context, what you would consider to be the biggest lessons are the biggest golden nuggets that you’d want business owners to take out of this conversation.
Totally. And I’m going to tell you what business owners want, and then I will tell you what they need. That’s an interesting twist. And it’s actually the journey of the book and makes me get as specific as possible when we go back. But I’ll talk about the journey of the book.
The journey starts with what we all want. More time, a better financial mindset, and financial confidence. We want to make more money. We want our lives to have a purpose for it, and so we need better networks. So, at the beginning of the book, I spend a significant amount of time on what in my audience and the people I serve are business owners are the corporate executives that are business owners. That’s my tribe and has always been my tribe. And so I think we business owners, struggle with time busy-ness overwhelmingness. I’m the profit burden, the stress that comes with scaling and growing or not being able to scale and grow.
So we go deep into financial confidence and financial mastery, and I was going to leave that chapter out in the publishers, like, absolutely not. You’re a financial guy for Pete’s sake. You’ve got to put it in their manners. That’s your whole world. It was a good point. Alright, we’ll set it up.
So we go into working in our zone is brilliant. So I think we can get distracted as business owners. I think we’re all over the place and really getting, being the difference between an amateur and a pro, which was working in your zone of brilliance. And it’s about finding purpose in your life but conquering time and time management and ultimately all of the financial stuff. And then the book, and then I’m going to tell you what you need. The book takes a dramatic turn about midway, and we start talking about the inner game.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Fall In Love with Yourself First
As business people, we’ll invest in, you know, we’ll invest in our businesses, we’ll invest in our networks, we’ll invest in other people. But what we fail to do is the biggest, most important investment is ourselves – getting mentally and emotionally. If it’s important to you spiritually and physically sound. And I’m talking about that demon in our head that tells us we’re not good enough, that noise, you know, we all struggle with self-confidence.
We all have this voice inside of our cell. It says, what if they figured it out on it? I don’t know what I’m doing, and what if they figured out our deepest, darkest desires? And here’s the thing, we all have it, but how do we overcome that? How do we master our mindset? And then, I’ll take him on a journey of how to cultivate unconditional love, respect, and confidence for yourself.
And enough is enough and let’s not put ourselves last. Let’s fall in love with ourselves so that we can truly love our customers, our businesses, our family, our friends. So, we talk about unconditional love. We talk about mastering our mindsets. We talk about intimate relationships with our significant other, our friends, our family, our network, like a true deep, honest conversation.
So we start with the outer world, I would call it making, you know, what we all want to be successful in more time, more money, more confident, more purpose, and then I’d turn it inward. I had to build it all. I have to build a reader’s trust. And if you get us through halfway through the book, I’ve got your trust and now trust me. Now let’s work on the inner game. And to me, it’s the most important thing that you can invest in.
So we spend a significant amount of time going through that and the tools or skills processes. And there are enough of them in there. And they’re simple enough find your flavor. You’re flavors, chocolate, there’s chocolate, and there for you. If you’re flavor of strawberry, they are strawberry in there for you. But the key to all of this is as living life with fulfillment, peace of mind, happiness and success.
We go with a big into networking to learn how to build a world-class network. And that’s what I’m most proud of my network literally is my network. And as we go deep into that, but here’s the key: you don’t want to be so successful. And I want you to make as much money as your heart desires. Like T. Harv Eker says, if someone tells you money is not important, run from them because their broken money is super important.
And it’s a game for us. We love the business. We like making more of it. I like to experience the funny things, but I don’t want people to be unhappy, unfulfilled, live without purpose live without peace of mind. And ultimately look back with regrets. To me, Legendary Life was about a way of holistically living our lives. So you get them what they want and then you tell them what they need. And this book takes a really amazing journey. Okay. So this is the most I’ve talked about the book in a long time though. So thank you for letting me do it,
Learn about overcoming imposter syndrome through Stephen’s perspective
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: The Inner Demon
But you’re very welcome. Thanks for teaching some of the lessons out of it. So when I think you really struck a chord with, you know, I get to attend a, just like you do you get to attend a lot of events or many of those, or obviously virtual now. Still, you know, being able to see audience members in that kind of stuff to see other speakers and, and whatnot, it’s just, you know, really fascinating.
And in some time, this goes back to the inner demon piece because oftentimes, you know, when the speakers are, they’re trying to help the audience move to the next level. Oftentimes, I hear the attendees talk about or other business owners talk about these obstacles and barriers and so forth.
And what I am listening to this, I’m like, Oh, there it is, there’s the imposter syndrome. How do I start overcoming imposter syndrome? There’s the inner demon. There are the things on their shoulder whispering in their ear or that they are less than that. They are not good enough to know that whatever, right?
Hey, Onward Nation I wanted to take a quick break from the episode to share a practical and tactical resource with you. When we first released our book profitable podcasting, it became a number one new release on Amazon in less than 18 hours. So that was nearly three years ago and we’re still getting great feedback on a hill. Helpful. The book has been to business owners just like you, as they launched a podcast to build their business.
When I think of strategies that you could be applying right now during these challenging times, having your own show, which will be a conduit that you could use to teach and share your insights with your community. Launching a podcast or growing your existing show really should be at the top of your list. I want to help you get started by giving you access to a free chapter of my book. I just go to PredictiveROI.com/resources and you’ll get the chapter where I show you how to overcome your three biggest obstacles to success. PredictiveROI.com/resources and we will send it to your inbox.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Be Aware of That Voice
So if I could ask you to be your coach, be our guide, be our mentor here. What are some things that you would advise when our audience is hearing that voice in their head or on their shoulder whispering in the ear that they just can’t stop? Who do they think they are to attempt something so amazing? So how would you suggest that they get past that? It takes daily work and practice, it’s the first thing. And the first thing I would tell you, is this the courage to own that and to emit it puts you in a home. Once you’re aware of it, you can’t become unaware of it. So, putting a name to it, I call up the Tommy.
Go around my wife, Heather calls that we have actually given this thing that gets into my head and it tells me I am not good enough. And then secured, I’ve given it a name and now it’s me against it because it’s not us. So the first thing I wanted to tell you, or your audience and myself and everyone listening, cause we all have, it is none of us are immune to that thing inside our heart and soul that says, Hey, you are not good enough. And what if they figured it out? You don’t know where you’re doing it.
So, Hey, this is the awareness. That’s the first thing I would say. Be aware of it and give it a name and let’s go to war with this thing because it’s got to be the biggest war we ever fought. And by the way, it never ends. I’m the second thing I would say is cultivating, mastering your mindset and cultivating unconditional love for yourself.
And it’s very related, is a daily practice. And so if I forget some tools in there, the biggest thing I could give you is this. First of all, is that, here’s a world-class in-India trip. So, I talked about awareness. You have to become aware when you’re doing it. It’s that moment of, Oh gosh, you’re that fear, that worry, that insecurity, that how dare I say, I want to, I’m going to teach something real quick and then we’re going to go to a tool. Awesome.
There’s a difference between guilt and shame, and you feel you’re not good enough or that worry or that fear and all of that thing. And that shame, guilt is I go and punch, Stephen, that’s outside of my value system.
It’s outside of society’s value system. I am guilty of punching, Stephen right? Yep. I’m guilty of that. It’s outside of our core values, and we’ll be held accountable, hopefully by myself and definitely by society, for doing that. That’s a guilt shame if I am bad.
So guilt is, I’ve done something bad. The shame is I am bad. And it comes by death from a thousand cuts. It comes from bad teachers and preachers, and our news is if we were getting shamed 24 hours, seven days a week with all the negativity and division, I’m not good enough. So, that’s the feeling of social media, his job is to promote envy and division.
Learn about overcoming imposter syndrome through Stephen’s perspective
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Using The “Ninja” Trick
I mean, it’s literally, it’s a job. And so we’re always comparing ourselves to others. So again, become aware when you’re scared or worried or insecure, or you don’t feel worthy enough. It’s about overcoming imposter syndrome. I mean, we all have it, right? So at the moment, here’s a Ninja trick and I’m like, I know that there were a hundred tools and the books. So I’m just going to give you a few.
Here’s a Ninja trick. Ultimately, when you are, you can even do this in a meeting and you can do it with your eyes open. I’m staring into the camera right now. Is the moment Tommy Breedlove has an insecurity or fears or why am I here? How did I ever get here? I’d take a deep breath in with my eyes open. And I immediately say something to myself kind.
And I give myself so much. Thank you, Tommy, for what you’re doing is taking away fear and giving yourself some of that self-love. Thank you, Tommy, for earning your way into this room. Thank you Tommy, for writing a great book because we’re so hard on ourselves in that shame. That I’m not good enough is us being hard on ourselves. It’s not real, but it feels so real, right? It feels so real. And I, it sounds almost arrogant to do this, but it’s not because we are so hard on ourselves. So one of the Ninja tricks is when I feel overwhelmed or I’m angry or I’m scared, or I’m insecure. I give myself some self-love.
I catch it. I usually start with this. If you want me to be completely vulnerable, I will look outside. Like I can look outside, right? I know there’s a beautiful bird there. Thank you for that beautiful bird. And I’ll say thank you, Tommy for being aware of that. And thank you, Tommy for doing the daily work to overcome this fear and insecurity. And there are all sorts of tools from affirmations to gratitude journals.
But if you catch yourself during the day, when you are worried and immediately switch it to self-love, as opposed to self-loathing, it’s literally impossible to be grateful and loving to yourself and worried at the same time. And it’s a practice and it’s a Ninja trick and it has literally saved my life and what, I’m not kidding.
Stephen from a guy that was just eaten up and fewer to insecurity and fear. It usually showed themselves with arrogance. You know, it was wearing all these masks. When I was in the financial world of a tough guy, an important guy could ask for help. But I could go by and all I was, it was a dying guy. It was dying inside.
Fast-forward 10 years later. Now, I’m not saying I’ve got this all figured out. I really don’t. I am no guru. I walk this walk every single day of my life and at my job. I get to talk in the mirror. Tommy are you doing any of this? Do you hear yourself? Because you’ve got to do this. But what I am grateful for is that I live probably 70, 30 on the side of love and gratitude. I’m not beating myself up anymore. I’m not scared to walk into a room, but it has taken daily practice.
And I was really quick. And as we go through them in detail, we go through like six or seven different gratitude practices, six or seven different types of meditation, six or seven things related to affirmations because the more we work on our hearts and minds. If it’s important to you, you are still the more you work in your house.
It’s just like building muscles. We can go to the gym and get in shape in one day while our heart and mind are the same thing. We have to build those muscles every single day. I’m a freak when it comes to self-development, because I do it for a living. I literally spend 90 minutes to two hours a day working on me that comes in the form of meditation, gratitude journals, daily readings, and physical exercise.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Hang Out with People Who Are Loving
I have quiet time. There’s all of these things I have in my toolbox. And I mix it up all the time to remember garbage in equals garbage out. Goodness in equals goodness out. And the more you take care of yourself, you’re always learning and growing a new trick. Whether it’s in business or profitability or money or self-development tools, I’m always practicing my craft too.
So I’m a coach. I have a coach, I run masterminds, I’m in a mastermind. So I’m also surrounding myself with people who are going in the door and are the best of the direction I’m going in. And it sounds cliche, but it’s probably the most sage advice. And I think it started with either a Napoleon Hill or Jim Rome or James Allen.
We all talk about it. You are the five people you hang out with, and if they are in fear or judgment or anger or division, you’re going to become that stew of nonsense we see on the news. But if you’re hanging out with people who are loving, who we’re working at, getting better, who are trying to build businesses or are building businesses, you’re going to level up or down to the people you’re most around.
So those are all tools that can go on and on and on for hours, and I’ll stop. But we give you a bunch of simple ones throughout the book to help overcome that. I call them up. Heather calls me up, and I call Tommy to go round. This Ninja trick is awesome.
And for the, you know, run the risk of the whole too much information. But when you were stepping through that, you gave me goosebumps, and here’s why. I love the difference between guilt and shame. And I love how you illustrated that in the Ninja trick is really, really great.
Learn about overcoming imposter syndrome through Stephen’s perspective
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Master Your Mindset to Become a Great Leader to Others
So when you said, you know, thank you Tommy for earning on your way into the room. But if everybody who’s listening to this right now were to say that, you know, thank you, insert your first name for Ernie your way into the room, because they didn’t get into the room by chance. They didn’t get there by luck. They earned their way into the room.
And so being able to take, use your Ninja trick, to be able to take a pause and actually think themselves for giving themselves or earning that opportunity, that app that is really smart, because then it, it will take away from the, you know, I shouldn’t be here.
They haven’t figured out that I didn’t know anything. I accidentally got the invitation, whatever, all those lines that I can, the Tommy go around, tell ourselves, right? And that’s the lie that we’re telling ourselves. And here’s what it does for you when you give yourself. And I know it’s not selfish by the way. This is anything but selfish. It’s the most loving thing you can do.
The more you master your mindset and develop that unconditional respect for yourself, the more you can love and be of service and a great leader to others. You will also start overcoming imposter syndrome. That’s it? I mean, you’ve got to build a foundation before you start painting walls. And this is the facts. This is the inner game, that foundation. Here’s another beautiful side effect. When you go from, or if you are angry to start loving yourself and you’re doing the silent, when you’re head, there’s not a person in the world is going to know you’re doing this.
It’s going to get you a present. And what’s more in a world where we’re constantly thinking and planning or thinking about the past, we were never where our feet are. When you have a moment it’s profound. When someone asks you a question and maybe you’re having that moment of fear or insecurity, and you take a deep breath in and there’s that three-second pause of no words coming out in your mouth.
While you are giving yourself a little self-love, people are going to think you’re really thinking about something so profound. You’re going to share wisdom, but you’re getting in the present moment. You’re immediately going to start like, say, you’re giving a big speech or you’re giving a presentation to a potential client, or you’re just having a difficult conversation. You get completely in the present moment, you become proactive and not reactive.
And you’re coming from a place of loving yourself, which makes you more powerful to that other person. And it gets you right here right now, which all of us need a little more of that in our life. Amen to that. Absolutely. Totally agree.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Writing A Book Can Help Build Your Business
Okay. So this will feel maybe a little bit abrupt. Now let’s go 180 degrees back in the other direction. Now that you’ve given us some golden nuggets, as well as some additional context out of the book, which was super helpful. So thank you for that. Now, let’s talk about how the book has helped you build your business, right? So again, we as owners, we are here. Yeah. I want to write a book. Oh, for Pete’s sake. I do. I aspire to write a book. I know intellectually that maybe that’ll be helpful to my business.
So tell us how it has impacted you. I mean, you’re planting your flag of authority. You shared your smarts and insights and wisdom with an audience. How has that now helped you build your business? Instant credibility. Okay. It’s given me instant credibility, but remember this book was a three-year project. And through what I had worked on in myself with my coaches, my mentor, my masterminds. And when I coach, when I run a mastermind, when I run a trait, I see all the tools that were working and what didn’t work. What resonated with people was simply for people to what people would do. So I was taking all of this data for lack of a better word.
And in the book, we made it fun, easy, relatable, and doable. And so credibility is not only, we were practicing the craft as we were writing the book, right? But we were also applying it to our lives. Don’t put anything in your book that you actually don’t do in life. People will know you’re lying and there’s not an ounce of untrue. I mean, it is.
If I practice everything in that book and what I’d like to say, if I give the gift of going second, I like to get vulnerable for all authentic. I am not a sage on the stage. I am not a guru. So my credibility comes from my heart and soul, as opposed to my words. And people walk in your book, these have sold that people need to hear from you and know not everybody writes a darn book.
I just simply don’t do it. There would be trillions of books out there if they did it. So from a credibility standpoint for my business, the stages have gotten me on the clients’ podcast. It’s got me on it, depending on where you want to go in. And I’ve told all of my clients if they can write the book because you have something.
Learn about overcoming imposter syndrome through Stephen’s perspective
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: People Crave For Authenticity
Books make you ordinary and extraordinary. You get to tell yourself why everybody’s got a hero’s journey, all of us, in some way or another. People love vulnerability. They love authenticity. And they love to learn something from you. Whether it’s sales or ROI advertising, whatever it might be with your journey and your craft, it gives you credibility.
And it makes you an expert in your field. You can’t write a book and not become an expert. You literally have to become an expert in world-class in what you do. And people need that in their lives. So from my network to my revenue, to my happiness, people will know when they read your work, whether or not it’s coming from a place of this is.
And don’t write a book just to write a book, to gain more revenue, write a book, or where you’re teaching in the world. You’re, you’re solving some page or you’re teaching a skill. And here’s another thing is you can compare yourself to others. People say, well, that book’s already been written well. Yeah, but it hasn’t been written in your language and your voice into your audience.
And they might read another book, but it didn’t say it the way you set it for people, people need to hear your voice. And so from a credibility standpoint to a network, to a revenue generation, to it, I couldn’t believe, and the book as its own service line and itself it’s own. So you have all kinds of revenue models, digital products, Astro minds, coaching speaking, it’s become its own revenue model. And it generates the flywheel. That’s an old Jim Collins term, right? It’s been out of your flywheel. And I have most of my clients, my, you know, I’ve got to world-class financial planner, I’m working with what the world needs to hear his story because its such a powerful story and it’s about grit and not giving up and how he became this.
You know, he’s got a boutique practice with 4 billion under management that is serious cash and these boutique, but now it’s time for him to give back in the world and get people not to give up. Cause there were two bikes in his life and he was going to give up on it. Strange that they had two boys to live in a hotel and you didn’t do it. The world needs to hear that we crave authenticity, we’re craving connection, we’re craving learning. And most importantly we crave vulnerability. And if you can put that in your book, go do it because it will only help your business become world-class.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Lessons From the Lesson
So Onward Nation I know we’re quickly running out of time here, but I would say, I want to just encapsulate what Tommy just shared with you because it was masterful and that’s exactly. That is such a perfect example of a point of view.
So, you know, Onward Nation we talk a lot about, well, how are you going to plant your flag of authority while you do that through three essential is you have niche areas of expertise and what you’re going to share, what you’re going to teach with your audience, your eventual audience, you blend that with your point of view in Tommy just articulated his master. Right? And then you share that through content. And then obviously the book is part of his content strategy going forward.
So Tommy, that was a great example of a point of view on overcoming imposter syndrome. And you said it very, very well. So thanks for teaching us multiple lessons in that lesson. It was great. Oh, you’re very welcome. And can you tell, I care so much about this? Yeah, well, you know, we serve it does, is it? It does. And when you mentioned authenticity, I mean somebody can’t sit down and listen to a conversation like this and think, Oh, I think he’s making it up. So, I think that that’s, you know, really early. Great.
So I know that we’ve covered a lot and the time just flies by in conversations with you. So thank you for that. But before we go, before we close out and say goodbye, any final advice or any additional recommendations that you’d like to share, and then please do tell Onward Nation business owners the best way to connect with you, my friend.
Learn about overcoming imposter syndrome through Stephen’s perspective
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Last Advice From Tommy
So I’ll give you some of the best advice that was ever given to me in two forms. One of them is to participate in your own rescue such as overcoming imposter syndrome. I might have said that the last time we spoke, there is no magic pill out there for happiness and success. You’ve got to intention or without action and action with that intention, you’ve got to be intentional, but you must participate in your own rescue. Whether it’s your relationships with your significant other where is your or you eaten up in fear or are you angry? Is your business not as successful as your career? What I don’t want your audience to do is look back with regrets. To participate in your own rescue, read every book. You can get your hands down, but apply that knowledge into your life. Apply the wisdom into your life.
Pick up a book like Legendary or think and grow rich are the big leap and, literally plied in your life. Be a little bit better than you were yesterday. And you’ll be shocked 365 days from now where your life will have turned. It’s crazy. All you gotta do is do the work so participate in your own rescue and no matter what you’ve been through, you can always write the ending to your story.
A mentor told me one time, do you want to live your life? Or do you want to live that story? And we were talking about our mindset, that noise in our heads. That’s a story. Take control of your life and write the ending to your story. So I would say the two things I would leave when you reach out to me, [email protected]. That’s my email address.
If you want to get a flavor of the book, we are giving away the financial freedom, confidence and mindset chapters, and then mastering your mindset because you were, as we record this, there is a lot of uncertainty and economic uncertainty and mindset stuff that were all going through fear.
And so we’re giving away those two chapters go to TommyBreedLove.com/gifts. G-I-F-T-S. I’ll spell that too since I have a Southern accent, but were giving away the financial confidence and the mastering, your mindset chapters, and there are all sorts of other goodies you’ll get there. And we’re always putting out love, and light inspiration under the world on social. If you’re tired of your social feed, check us out at Tommy Breedlove on Instagram and LinkedIn, and then we’re always putting business advice and inspiration, love and light.
We’re never putting that poison out there. So if you want some goodness, please follow us on social media as well. And it’s just an honor to be here. Stephen thank you. It is an honor to have you here, my friend. And Onward Nation, no matter how many times you go back and listen to Tommy’s words of wisdom, which I sure hope that you do. He just said it. You got to take it and apply it, and take action on this blueprint that he just so generously gave you because that is what you need in order to accelerate your results in Tommy.
We all have the same 86,400 seconds in a day. And I am grateful my friend that you said yes for a second time, they come to me too. Oh my gosh. To be our mentor and guide to help us move our businesses onward to that next level.
Ah, in a Legendary way. Huh? Thank you, my friend, in all sincerity. This was just awesome. Thank you, Stephen. It’s an honor and I’m grateful to be here and I mean, that’s not as a self-deprecating way, but if I can get here, anybody can get here. So please carpet DMCs this day, love on yourself, and be good to each other.
This episode is complete. So head over to OnwardNation.com for show notes and more foods that fuel your ambition. Continue to find your recipe for success here at Onward Nation.
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