How to Overcome Negative Energy

Episode 912: How to Overcome Negative Energy, with Anese Cavanaugh

How to overcome negative energy? Listen to Anese Cavanaugh talk about the importance of workplace positivity and how to overcome negative energy.

Anese Cavanaugh is devoted to helping people show up and bring their best selves to the table in order to create significant positive impact in their lives. This is why she’s so eager to teach people how to overcome negative energy in the workplace. She is the creator of the IEP Method® (Intentional Energetic Presence®), an advisor and thinking partner to leaders and organizations around the world, and author of CONTAGIOUS CULTURE: Show Up, Set the Tone, and Intentionally Create an Organization That Thrives.

Top innovators and executives in companies like IDEO, Zingerman’s, GM Financial, Vistaprint, 15Five, Fitbit, Nike, Kaiser Permanente, and others have engaged with Anese to strengthen team health, unlock leadership potential, optimize company culture, and maximize impact.

What you will learn from this episode about how to overcome negative energy:

• What exciting things Anese and her business have been up to since her previous appearance in Onward Nation episode #756
• Why Anese chose to tighten her focus, be intentional, and be strategic with her work and the writing of her new book, Contagious You, in 2019
• What key pillars of information Anese addressed in her new book, and why she chose to focus on those areas
• Why the best way to get out of your own way when seeking business success is to focus on servicing your customers and your team
• How to overcome negative energy caused by other people during meetings while also raising your energy level in a room
• Why it is important to be very clear in our intention, practice self-care, and be present in the moment
• How to conduct a brief energy and presence check at the beginning of each meeting to improve the quality of your meetings
• What actively disengaged employees cost the United States each year nationwide financially and in lost productivity
• What valuable lists Anese has included in Contagious You to help you be more intentional and raise energy as a team
• How to overcome negative energy in your workplace and provide a stress-free environment

Resources:

• Websites:
  • www.anesecavanaugh.com
  • www.iep.io
• Contagious You by Anese Cavanaugh: https://amzn.to/2JXhVVN
• Twitter: @AneseCavanaugh
• Instagram: @anesecavanaugh
• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/anesecavanaugh/
• Facebook: www.facebook.com/IEPMethod
• Learn how to overcome negative energy by attending the IEP Method Immersion

Additional Resources:

• Sell With Authority by Drew McLellan and Stephen Woessner: https://amzn.to/39y7x13
• Predictive ROI Free Resource Library: https://predictiveroi.com/resources/
• Stephen Woessner’s LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/stephenwoessner/
• Learn how to overcome negative energy by also addressing your anxiety issues

 

 

How to Overcome Negative Energy: Full Episode Transcript

 

Get ready to find your recipe for success from America’s top business owners here at Onward Nation with your host, Stephen Woessner.

 

Good morning, Onward Nation. I’m Stephen Woessner. And if you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while now, you know how often I like to try and shine as bright of a light as possible on topics like influence and becoming the leader you were meant to be. Onward. So that you and your team can create the impact that is aligned with your purpose, your mission, and your values and part of your ability, as well as your team’s ability candidly to create that kind of impact.

 

Well, it revolves around culture. And I will also say your opportunity to be successful will increase when you get intentional about creating a positively contagious culture. 

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Anese Cavanaugh’s Introduction

 

So when Anese Cavanaugh and I, when we recorded episode 756 for you Onward Nation, that’s exactly what we dug into. How business owners like you and me can show up, how we can set the right tone, how we can intentionally create a business that thrives well on Onward Nation.

 

I am super excited. In fact, that doesn’t even really do it justice to describe the emotions that I’m feeling right now, because today we get round two with Anese. In this special encore interview, she is back to walk us through her new book entitled contagious. You unlock your power to influence, lead and create the impact you want.

 

Anese and I, we’re going to explore some of the biggest lessons Onward Nation. The biggest lessons for business owners inside her new book, how you can take them and apply them specifically after listening to this episode. This is going to be one of those conversations. I guarantee you that is going to make you think that it’s going to help you and your team avoid burnout, because we’re all trying to do too much.

 

But in the end, I think you’ll agree that Anese’s expertise will help you build even more engagement across your team as you’re getting ready to step into 2020. So without further ado, welcome back to Onward Nation, Anese. 

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Anese’s Path and Journey

 

Stephen, thank you so much for having me. I’m so happy to be here. I’m smiling literally ear to ear. My cheeks almost hurt.

 

Well, I am smiling too because it is just a pleasure and an honor to have you here. And but you know, it’s been almost about, gosh, about 18 months since we’ve had a chance to do this. I know that there’s been a lot of things going on in your business, and you’re excited about the road ahead.

 

So bring us up to speed. Tell us about what’s new and what you’re excited about. The road ahead and then we’ll dive in. Oh okay. Great. Well first of all, I can’t believe it’s been 18 months. It feels like yesterday. And it also feels like a really long time ago all at the same time. So I just want to say that to me, speaking to the dynamic that you and I have.

 

It’s just really yummy. So. Okay. In the last 18 months, well, I wrote another book, which we’ll talk about. I, actually two there was another poem that I wrote which is called The Leader You Will be that we released last year in November. And that was just a poem that came from doing a ton of work with different kinds of organizations and really looking at what are the leadership qualities and behaviors that really support us and showing up beautifully.

 

So that actually published last year was a very quiet project. One of those things that I wrote was from my heart. I started performing it at my keynotes, and every time I performed at my keynotes, the audience would think that I had written it for that audience specifically. And so it was. Yeah. So then we started to get a lot of requests for it.

 

So we actually made it into a cute little story book. And so that was big. That was really exciting since you and I last talked. And then we had, I think the last time we spoke, we were in the middle of doing what we call stewardship, which is where I was teaching other people how to bring the IEP work, this methodology into their organizations.

 

And we did it with a school system, a district down in Southern California. And we were able to get 1700 principals and teachers trained. Who then? Yes, they and they represent or they impact 24,000 students. So that was exciting. That was very cool. And then it’s been, you know, a lot last year, 20 or 2018 was a roller coaster.

 

It was like nonstop. I was traveling a ton. I was speaking a ton, I was teaching, I was anywhere, anywhere anybody wanted me. I was showing up. And then when I started to write the book at the end of 2018, I kind of went quiet and kind of went dark, so I could really dig in and do that and I have had a really beautiful year of less travel and being out there.

 

However, in my mind, even more quality of work, you are really engaging and building this work out so that we’re ready now to move into the next phase and share it. So really interesting, side lesson here. 

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Dedication to Developing the Depth of Expertise

 

Thank you for bringing us up to speed with your business, by the way. But a really interesting side lesson here. And this is what happens Onward Nation when you get really, really intentional about your thought leadership.

 

And Anese just described, you know, what 2018 was like for her, how she reserved herself for 2019 to really dig in and do this work. But being in demand like that, I know on the surface it might be like, well, of course, you know, she invests all this time, she writes and all of that, but it’s also that she’s decided that she’s going to develop this depth of expertise, this thought leadership, which didn’t happen overnight.

 

She’s been at it for decades, and now she’s obviously reaping the benefits of it. And so, congratulations. And the schedule is hard. It takes discipline. But you’ve done it with excellence. Thank you so much. Thank you. Yeah. You know, it was a really big learning for me this last year because I set a very strong intention about a year ago at this time, a little bit earlier in the year where I said, all right, I know I’m going to write this book.

 

I want this book to be the best work of my life so far. I want it to reach even more people. So who do I need to become, and how do I need to take care of myself in order to create the container to really do this? And so that as you, you know, you just framed it really beautifully because it was a very strategic decision to get quiet and to really go deep.

 

And it meant holding some big boundaries around my time. It meant saying no to things that I really wanted to say yes to. It meant, really declining anything. I made a joke that said, I am allergic to anything that creates distraction or contraction in my life right now, you know? So it was good learning for me as well, in terms of what’s possible when you really make that decision and then do it and that isn’t easy.

 

And it is, you know, needing to keep that mission or that in front of you sometimes, whether that’s visually or just in the back of your mind. But you have to use that as your litmus test. Otherwise your days will be filled with things that don’t really contribute, like doing your best work. So what?

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Going Deeper Into Your Work

 

Why was that? Your why for contagious you your new book why was that so powerful for you? Oh gosh. Thank you for that question. Well okay. So contagious culture, which is my first child.

 

Your first child, will you be able to love this? You just kind of feel that way, doesn’t it, when you’re writing a book. I mean, it’s like you’re birthing something really big into the world. It really is. It really does, such a contagious culture, you know, that came out in 2015. And I have loved seeing what that book has done and how that affected people and what they’ve done with it and how they’ve integrated it.

 

And I’ve also been in hundreds and hundreds of rooms and conversations where people were continuing to ask or questions like, okay, great, I’ve got contagious culture. We’re integrating it, we’re doing it. And, you know, now, how do I do it even more? How do I strengthen my IEP, which is our intentional energetic presence, you know, how do I strengthen my leadership presence in my IEP, even more so that I can have even more impact?

 

So there was a request for deepening of the work and going even more, into the nuanced parts of what having positively and usefully contagious energy requires. So there was that part. It was, you know, that contagious you this coming out is it’s kind of a love letter to those people of like, here’s how you take this deeper.

 

And then there were also people who still said, okay, great contagious culture. Now give me the list. Like, how do I just tell me what to do, tell me what to do? I still just want the list and the list, as you and I both know, the list of what to do to create culture change is only as good as the people who are showing up.

 

Making the lists happen, you know? And so that brought us back to how we show up as leaders and the reason why contagious you became so important. And that element is I wanted to speak to people in another way, to help create even more of an invitation for them to step into their own becoming and how they’re becoming and how they show impacts that list.

 

So in the next book, we do have a chapter that has all the lists that people have been asking me for, and I take them even deeper into, you know, here’s how you’re going to make that list be even more powerful. Like, no kidding. And then the third thing was, contagious. You meant that I had a lot of people coming to me and saying, okay, I’m doing this work, I’m practicing it, I feel good, it’s good.

 

Like I’m getting the results I want. However, my boss is still not like, what do I do about that guy or that gal who still is the lowest energy in the room? Who is in sync in my meetings, who you know is committed to or devoted to complaining, etc.. So how do I better either work with and inspire them and invite them to step up and join me?

 

Or how do I protect myself from them? Because they’re just there and I can’t do anything about it. And so there’s three things we’re really looking at, like deepening your practice, building an even more contagious culture through the way that you’re showing up, and then also navigating really challenging and sometimes toxic dynamics in your life.

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: The Contagious Culture

 

Okay, so that was a high degree of awesome. And because what she just did there Onward Nation was really mapping out the conversation that we’re about to have. So that was awesome. As we dig into your new book and are contagious to you. But first, I just want to touch on a point here and and really that’s that’s perspective or maybe said a better way, the lens at which you look at your audience and what I mean by that is when you talked about contagious culture, it wasn’t about, oh, we sold X number of books.

 

We’re on this bestseller list, and we did this and we did that. And, you know, and not that that’s not like a financial lead. Those metrics aren’t important, obviously, that there’s the financial side to books. But what you started with and what I love is when you said how it’s affected people and what it’s done in the impact that it’s created, which then produced all these follow on questions, which, by the way, led to another book and a thought leader sees that it’s like,

 

There’s more ways that I can be helpful and connected back to the first book. So Onward, I’m teasing that out because that’s exactly the perspective of a thought leader. So congrats. And this because your whole goal is to be helpful. And that is awesome. Oh okay. So Steve and I have to tell you, I have goosebumps. 

 

And I got tears in the back of my eyes when you said that, because that what you said and thank you so much for that acknowledgment, because that has been my thing from day one when I started my business, was, how can we more effectively support other people in their leadership and in their impact, and also in feeling good? So my priority has always been around impact and purpose. That’s been my fuel, more so than anything else. And that was the thing. It’s funny, it didn’t even occur to me to talk about sales or lists or anything like that with that book, because it’s so ingrained. 

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Providing Positive Impact for Everyone

 

So I appreciate that reflection because that’s something I haven’t thought about in a while. And it brings me, you know, you ask, what was the reason why I wanted to go so deep with contagiousness? You like, why did I have to create the space to be quiet and really make these decisions? And the reason is, because to this point, I think contagious you is the most important body of work of my life that I’m putting out into the world that that, you know, is building upon contagious culture and everything else I’ve done.

 

But this right here, this book, my intention from the very beginning, I get goosebumps again saying this. My intention was people and the human beings and I want every. My vision is that every single human being on this planet can have positive and useful and contagious impact and leadership. They get to have the impact they want to have, regardless of what their industry is or if they stay at home with their kids or their gardening or their like I.

 

My wish is for everyone to have the impact they want to have and at the same time feel incredibly great doing so. So no burnout. No, you know, giving yourself away for your impact. No, you know, none of that. And so that piece to me was my guiding light throughout the book. And I knew that if I wasn’t honoring that for myself, if I was just impacting impact and also not creating quiet space for self-care for me, I knew that I could not be fully congruent and go as deep as possible in that body of work.

 

Yeah, I love that. Love it. And Onward Nation, when you as a thought leader, when you get intentional about your thought leadership and rightly have your audience in focus, not from a this is how I’m going to monetize the audience next. But as Anese is talked about in a number of different ways, how you can be helpful and then helpful again, and how you can produce your best work with the intentionality of or with the intention, excuse me, of being helpful yet again to your audience.

 

All that business stuff you know comes together if you truly get the helpfulness right. Right. And yes, 1,000%. And I actually talk about that in the book because one of the core things to business success to really help us get over ourselves, so to speak, or out of our own way, I should say, is to focus on service.

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Reconnecting on Every Aspect of the Business

 

So there are so many stories I can tell of people who are, you know, focusing on, oh my gosh, my pipeline’s tight. We got to make more money. I want to make a list. I want to be on the 500 or whatever their focus is, and their focus is there, and they lose connection to the why of what they’re doing, the why and the who of it.

 

And what I find is, no matter how quote-unquote scary something gets with the pipeline or whatever’s happening, if we can, we connect with the purpose and the why of what we’re doing. And we could reconnect with our intention being to serve our customer or to serve our team, or to serve whoever, if we can reconnect with service, that is the I think of it as a lifeline almost, that can help pull us out of the muck and get us back in, what I call the portal purpose, which is, you know, the portal purpose is the thing that you step into in order to create the most impact possible.

 

And when that’s happening, then revenue and business development, all that starts to take care of itself. Because your focus is no longer on you. Your focus is on serving the people that you’re selling to. Yeah, that is amazing. So let’s shine our light on some of the takeaways from contagious you. So you mentioned the list, which I would love to dive into because, and I know we’re not going to be able to cover the entire list, but maybe there’s a couple of highlights you can give us from the list.

 

But then also this scenario that you mentioned too about, you know, managing the boss, or maybe it’s a business partner or something, you know, somebody who is the lowest energy in the room. I suspect that that is a great learning opportunity for onboarding for business owners too. So which one do you think we should tackle first? Because I think there’s a ton of value in both of these.

 

Right. I think we should tackle the lowest vibration in the room. Okay. Because even though I’m sure some of the listeners right now, I’m sure you guys are like, oh, give us the list. But the story of my life, I think you should talk about the lowest vibration, because the lowest vibration in the room actually has an impact on the list.

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Holding Your Energetic State

 

So let’s do that and then dig into the list. And I do promise you guys there’s less and less and list. There’s assessments. There’s schools. For those of you that really like to have the you know, there’s science. There’s an entire chapter of science. Like for those of you that have a more analytical brain and really want that list, yeah, I promise you’re going to get it.

 

So okay. Lowest vibration in the room. So I know we talked about this a little bit last time. Basically, you know, there’s a rule, quote unquote a rule. I use a rule with a little R, there’s a rule that basically says that the lowest vibration in the room will win unless somebody in that room is really good at holding their energetic state.

 

So what this looks like is you walk into a room and you’re feeling really, really good, or you walk into a conversation and you’re, you know, you’re clear. You’ve got your intentions, your energy, your presence. You’re all in alignment. You’re ready to rock n roll. You’re prepared for your meeting or your presentation or whatever you’re doing. And then there’s always it seems like there’s always that one guy or gal that is just, seemingly devoted to sinking, to taking a life out of the room.

 

You know, they’re just there. Their arms are crossed or have a low vibe. They you can feel. You can feel them, whether it’s negativity or just flatness or whatever. Is there the lowest five in the room? So what tends to happen? You know, sometimes that might manifest by dirty looks or they might be naysaying everything you say or, you know, whatever the case might be, I think every single human being listening to this can relate to this scenario.

 

What typically happens then is if we’re in a room, even if we’ve got a bunch of us, and there’s a person who’s really, really devoted to staying low. Vibrate is just not aware of their impact, which is actually a really important part, because it’s not like people generally wake up and go, oh, I’m going to be the lowest light in the room today.

 

You know, if that person is just unaware of their impact or their energy is really low or negative, there’s a way that the rest of the room can start to match that and fall and start to try to, you know, start to match the lower vibe. And so before you know the meeting, the conversation is becoming more negative.

 

You’re becoming more tired. You start to get fuzzy because you’re like, wait, what were you even talking about? Wait, I was so clear on my intention before I got in here, and now I feel super, super confused about what we’re doing. That’s just the energetic dynamics of what’s happening when you walk into a room or conversation. So that’s your lowest.

 

But if you can learn how to really hold your intentions, really hold your energetic state and, you know, build a strong, energetic field is the way I talk about it and really hold your presence, there is a way that no matter how low that vibe is in the room or what’s going on, if you can practice that for yourself, you can hold your state.

 

You can actually invite everyone else to step up to meet you. 

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: The Impact of a Negative Energy in the Room

 

So that’s an important piece here. Because if you walk in and you’re not so say for example, I’ll use myself if I walk into a room and I am not for my intention and I’m really tired and I just say to donut, which sugar is my Kryptonite and I’m not present.

 

I’m super, super stressed about this. Meaning if I walk in and I, you know, go and I’m like, hey there. Hi there, guys, everything’s so good to be here to see you. And I have some in that room who’s sitting there with their arms crossed, brows furrowed, shaking their heads. Give me the dirty looks if I have that, if I have not taken care of myself and my IEP is not clean and clear, I will very easily start to match what’s going on with the person who is in a lower state.

 

It might look like I start to get tired or I might start to go negative or oh gosh, my favorite is when I start to make up all sorts of stories about what’s going on with that person and how much I must totally suck. Because clearly I’m not supposed to be here. This person’s energy is so low and they don’t want me here.

 

So are you. Are we tracking so far? Yeah, and that’s interesting as you’re describing that dynamic, I’m thinking of multiple instances where like in that scenario, you know, where you said you walked in the room. I’m thinking, okay, have I ever experienced that to really make it tactical in my guess is Onward Nation business owners are thinking, oh, I know exactly what she’s talking about because we’ve all felt that for sure.

 

For sure. We’ve also all felt where we’re in a room and somebody comes in the room feels great, somebody comes in. Also, the room gets really, really careful or everyone gets quiet. The energy room shifts the, you know, whether you want to call it energy or vibration or whatever you want to call it that. The feeling in the room shifts.

 

And I think of it as if it expands or is it expanded and it feels really good, or did it just contract? And so all we’re talking about is that person just walked in. They’re bringing in an energetic presence that is not contributory to the space. And if you’re not present and managing your own space, it will be very easy to be affected by it.

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Avoid Getting Sucked into The Lowest Vibration of The Room

 

So a core thing that I talk about in this book, and also in any of the work I’ve done is it is a leadership responsibility to take care of yourself so much so that you don’t get sucked into the lowest vibration of the room, and that actually, you can hold your presence so beautifully that not only do not get sucked into the lowest vibe in the room, but you don’t judge it.

 

You know, you don’t make it wrong, you know? Oh, that’s just, you know, Gloomy George who’s having a hard day again. Like you don’t make it wrong. You actually can stay in a state of neutrality. Notice it. And with your own presence. Either invite George. I was calling George to invite George to step up or ask George questions and check in with him.

 

That would invite him to engage in a way that would be a little bit more inspiring for him. Okay, so walk us through that piece, because I think that’s going to be a really helpful tool for Onward Nation business owners. If maybe they’re business partners like that or maybe a key person on their leadership team, you know, it is kind of like George in this scenario that you’re painting. So walk us through what that looks like. 

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Know What Kind of Presence You’re Bringing into The Room

 

Okay. Great. And to be totally fair, I need to say it’s George or George at Fortune. Right. So the couple disclaims. I need to put it it’s George Georgette or G. And we are all George George at or G at times in our day in our lives. Okay I was George yesterday I was George yesterday.

 

Like this is not about oh I’m so good and they’re so bad or they’re so good and I’m so that it’s not about that. It’s just information that is at play all the time. And I just want to be super, super firm responsible for that. Okay okay. All right. So walk into the room. So I’ll just use an example.

 

And I’m going to walk in and there’s George and I’m feeling really great. And George is really low. So I walk in that room. I’ve got my team and my first job is before I even walk into the room to do my own energetic hygiene practice, which means that I have set my intentions for what I want to create in this meeting.

 

I set my intentions for how I want to show up. You know, what is the presence I want to bring? How do I want people to experience me? How do I want to feel in this meeting? What do I really, really want to get done by the end of this meeting? So when I’m walking into this meeting, I’ve already set my intentions.

 

So I’m very clear about what I want to create. So that’s a really important point. Not only for this meeting, but for the rest of our lives. Like the clearer we are on our attention, the easier everything else becomes, because that’s the grounding force that we can keep tapping into when we start to get lost or distracted or George shows up.

 

So that’s one. So I’ve set my intention. The next thing I want to make sure I’ve done is I’ve taken care of myself energetically. So I am a big advocate of making meetings, 50 minute meetings instead of 60, so that we have ten minutes in between to use the bathroom, get water, do a reboot, breathe like, connect with ourselves, do whatever we need to do so we can walk into our next meeting energetically clear and present.

 

So from an energetic standpoint, I’m going to make sure that I’ve created some kind of space for myself. And if I don’t have those ten minutes, maybe it’s the 30s that I just get quiet and just get into my body and in this present moment. So, let me jump in there for just a second. So, I think what I’m hearing you say is that when we do, which us crazy business owners do all the time, when we schedule back to back 60 minute meetings and we’re literally running from one meeting to the next meeting. 

 

Not only are we carrying kind of like the craziness in the compression of that schedule, but we haven’t given ourselves a bathroom break. We haven’t gotten any water or drank any water. And so, so our energy level from one meeting to the next, the negativity, if there is any, is carrying into that next meeting. Right. You’ve oh my gosh, so beautifully said. Yes. Absolutely. You’re carrying it in. And then the other thing is this.

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Preparing Your Energy Ahead of Time

 

Now you’re more susceptible to any negativity that’s in the room okay. So because you’re not fully restored the other pieces of Steve. None of us and everyone, listeners like none of us are our best at our leadership or our ability to serve other people. Well, we’re not resourceful. If I’m sitting around the whole time I’m at this meeting, I have to use the bathroom.

 

I’m not my best self. Like I’m going to be distracted by that if I’m dehydrated, exhausted, if I haven’t fed myself, if I’m overwhelmed, if I’m super, super in the energy of busy, there’s no way in the world I’m going to sit in that room, give my best thinking, my very best presence, and also have my best level of patience and grace for the people around me.

 

And so I do this energy thing, doing your prep ahead of time and really taking care of yourself. And by the way, like I get that that is challenging in our fast paced day to day thing. And I’d also offer that I believe that leaders are that self-care is a leadership skill. So to me it’s actually the most important leadership skill and asset we have.

 

Because if we are not taking care of ourselves, we’re not going to feel our best and we cannot serve at our best and sustainably if we’re burnt out, if we’re not fully resourced. So that would be my invitations. Even if you can’t get that ten minutes. Like what? What agreements, because you create as a team or with your business partner, whoever of like, hey, look, we’re going to take five minutes at the meeting and just everyone go take care of yourself, get your water, take a stretch break, use a bathroom, do whatever so that when we come together, we’re actually able to really be here and be fully resourced.

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Shifting The Energy of a Negative Person

 

Yeah. And so that would be. Yeah. So before you walk in the room back to the scenario with Paul George, before you walk in that room, you’re clearing your intentions for what you want to create. You’ve taken care of yourself energetically so that you are fully resourceful and as present as possible. And then you go in, of course, to present to the meeting.

 

Now I walk in the room, I feel great, I see my team, everyone’s looking good. And then there’s George. My first job is just to notice. I’m just going to notice what’s going on, and I’m going to notice the energetic dynamics and how it feels in the room. And I’m going to keep going. If George is really, low vibe or, you know, with arms crossed and whatnot, I might give it a few minutes just to kind of check it out and see if he shifts.

 

If he doesn’t shift, I am probably going to ask him. I’d probably say, hey, George, how are you doing? Like, do you need anything or not? I’m noticing that your, you know, your arms across notes. They feel a little heavy right now. Like, do you need anything? Are you seeing something we don’t see with what we’re talking about?

 

Right. Because that’s an invitation to George. It’s not a hey, George, your energy is terrible, and you’re bringing everyone down. It’s a hey, George, I’m noticing. Notice things are really important words. Even noticing that you’re, you know, you’re showing up in this way. And I’m really curious. Like, what’s going on for you? Do you need to think?

 

Are you okay? Do you know, do you see something we don’t see? I had a group that I worked with a while back. Who? We were in the middle of a session. It was a design project that they were working on. And we had a George. We had somebody who had a really low vibe and, you know, every everything that would come up, they would say it.

 

And then, finally, I stopped the meeting. I said, hey, George, what’s you know, what’s going on for you? And George says, well, I think that we’re going in a really, really bad direction with this client. I don’t like the way that we’re designing the product. I think we’re not. We’re not in integrity with the way that we say we want to design versus how we’re designing.

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Opening a Beautiful, Collaborative Conversation

 

Okay, so the only way George was able to say that, and that’s a pretty strong statement. Here’s the thing. It was true. And there were other people in the room that were thinking similarly, but nobody was saying it. They were just like cruising right through it. So the only way that George was able to say that was we actually stopped the meeting and got curious and provided a safe space for him to say, hey, here’s what’s going on for me, and here’s why I don’t why I’m flat this way, the earth.

 

It was really beautiful. That not only did that open up a really cool conversation with the team, right. Okay. How do we want to be about this in the future like George, what would encourage you to speak up sooner? And oh, by the way, for the rest of us that have seen this, that wasn’t saying what was getting in the way, like what was missing in our trust with each other or in our courage or whatever that had us not be willing to say sooner.

 

So that opened up a really beautiful conversation, and ultimately it changed the trajectory of that project. And what they ended up creating was so much better. Okay, so that’s staggering because maybe that’s not the right word. Really compelling, because like, George’s behavior on the outside, like, if you hadn’t really peeled that back and really to understand what was going on could, you know, could be interpreted as, you know, George isn’t a team player.

 

He’s such an obstacle. Why is he always in the way? He’s not very ambitious, and doesn’t want to work hard. When the reality was it was an integrity issue for George and he was thinking about the audience or the customers, the clients or whoever the product was intended for. He was actually being the best advocate in the room right?

 

He was. Now, here’s what George could have done differently is when George saw that George could have spoken to that more proactively, and that would have taken care of that. But because he didn’t feel safe originally to speak to it because, I mean, everyone talks around the elephant in the room, right? Like, wait, I mean, we all talk about elephants, you know, it’s like because he didn’t feel safe and didn’t want to bring that up.

 

It was having an impact on his energy. And so therefore that’s why he showed that’s part of the reason why he would show up that way. And when we opened that up, now it opens up this huge, permission for everyone to start talking about what they really think about the project and how they want to shift it.

 

Now, there are George’s in a room who are just in a bad mood, who don’t want to be there, who don’t like their job, who don’t like the company. And really, that’s a different conversation that you’re going to be having. But in that case, we wouldn’t have known what we were dealing with if we hadn’t created the space and said, hey, George, what’s going on with you?

 

If I had asked the facilitator, I had made him wrong and been like, okay, George, your energies, you’re the lowest I’ve in the room. You got to leave. We did nothing. What good would have come out of that? But instead offering a place of, hey, what’s going on? Do you see something we’re not seeing? That became a really beautiful, collaborative conversation.

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Do Presence Checks at The Start of Your Meeting

 

Now, another way to get in front of that is to start. I’ve seen teams start building in energy and presence checks at the beginning of any meeting. So you walk in, this is like a three minute thing. I really would love it if everybody would create their own version. That really feels good for their organization.

 

And because you walk in, everyone sits down. First of all, be on time. That helps tremendously. If everybody’s done their energetic hygiene beforehand so they’re clear on their intentions, they’re taking care of themselves in their presence. Now you walk in and you sit down, and before you even start, you just do a quick check in and you go, okay guys, go around the table.

 

How are we doing? And you can look at it from a physical standpoint. You know, how do you feel physically 1 to 10. How do you feel mentally. How are you showing up? You know and I there’s many ways you could do it. I give formulas in the book, but there’s like, the simplest is just everyone.

 

How are you doing right now? Scale 0 to 10 zero. You’re doing terribly. Ten. You. Life couldn’t be better. That right there brings people present to what’s going on for them. I also, you know, another way to do it is how present are you? Zero, your body’s here, but you’re totally checked out because you’re so stressed out about everything.

 

Then you’re here. There’s nothing else going on. So the answers are not as important as the facts. The minute you’ve posed that question to people, they have to become more present and check in with where they’re at. And that can then open up another level of conversation. Because if we had done that with George and we did not do it that day, how do we do that?

 

And had I gone around and said, okay, there a ten, where’s everyone out energetically, physically and mentally? You know, how present are you? How do we check in with that? George might have said, you know, I’m at four and I’m gone. Oh, interesting. George, what’s going on? How should a four? And he might have said, you know, I got no sleep last night.

 

I’m really tired. I have to use the bathroom or. I’m really stressed about this project. I don’t think we’re going in the right direction. And I don’t feel good talking about it. Imagine how much that would shift what’s going on here and how much time that could save teams. Oh, absolutely. And not just the time savings and so forth.

 

But when I think back to contagious culture, I mean, that’s just what creates the I know you’re such an advocate for engagement across the team and Lord knows that that’s one of the things that the business owners are dealing with right now is disengaged. Team members. And it’s such a high chronic level.

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Setting The Tone

 

So what you’re talking about there not only creates a safe spot for George at the beginning, but it also reinforces, in my opinion, that engagement or that high level of engagement, threatened throughout not just that meeting, but across the team. Oh, absolutely. And also, you know, and you see, if you heard the latest stats on, the cost of disengagement in our country.

 

No. So what is it? Okay. So check this out. So as of 2016, by Gallup’s research, they found that actively disengaged employees cost the United States an estimated 483 billion to 605 billion each year in lost productivity. So that’s a little bit of money. It’s a little that’s a what? Oh my gosh. You know, like I’ll write you a check later.

 

It’s just a little. But it’s more of a rounding error. But that is insane. Oh my gosh, it’s insane. And then here’s the other thing and I can’t. I’m not going to get this number exactly right. But as I recall when I was doing my research, what we’re actually spending each year to get those people actively engaged is about 70 billion.

 

So and by the way, actively disengaged means there’s three levels. There’s engagement, which is about 33% of the US workforce, which means they love their job. They’re coming to work, they’re doing their best work. They’re like, they’re all over it. 51% are disengaged, which means they’re looking for another job. Kind of like, all right, let’s see.

 

I’m not sure I’m in, but I’m in. But, you know, whatever. So it’s kind of lukewarm. Only 16% is actively disengaged. So 16%, which is the number I just gave you. And I think I might have just given you some funky numbers, but 16% are actively disengaged, that means they are actively disliking and poisoning the well in your organization.

 

Right? So for 83 billion, let’s just take the low number. That’s just for the actively disengaged. That’s not even accounting. The disengaged well is terrifying. So for Onward Nation business owners, just for the ease of math, let’s say you have 100 employees. That means that there are 16 employees on your entire team. So 16 employees, who are actively actually working against the company on a day to day basis.

 

Right. And yeah, that’s great. And the numbers are correct. I gave you the right numbers. I thought my mouth was funny for a minute, but those are the correct numbers. 30 so that indeed is a, I mean, that is staggering because to to think that, you know, I would have 16 members of my team, you know, coming to work each day actively working against the business, against Predictive ROI.

 

It’s like, oh my gosh, talk about trying to swim with an anchor around your feet. Oh for sure, for sure. And then, so here’s the magic though. So there’s always those numbers like oh my gosh. And I go oh my gosh. Because the common denominator in that is each of us. So as a leader you get to help set the tone for that.

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Doing Your Role As The Leader

 

So the things that we’re talking about we’re talking about George in the lowest vibration in the room, your disengaged team, you as leader, if you can hold your state and hold your space and go in and work with that team of 116 actively disengaged, if you can hold your space and stay so clear on your intentions and take such good care of yourself energetically, that George doesn’t wipe you out, and also stay so present to what’s happening, so much so that you know when to ask George a question like, hey George, what’s going on?

 

What’s missing for you? Like, what do you see that I don’t see? I’m noticing that you feel not engaged. How can I help? Like what? What’s happening? If you can do that as a business leader or owner or as a leader, period. And you can work your IEP, you can go in and you can start to shift that dynamic.

 

Because the common denominator in building trust and building a healthy culture and engagement, the common denominator is each of us as the leader. That is awesome. I want to be respectful of your schedule. I know that we’re quickly running out of time. Can we tackle the list? Just in whichever shape or form you think that’s appropriate?

 

You better believe. I just am going to say, oh no, I don’t want to leave again. A lot of trouble. All right, so here’s the deal. So I literally, so there’s a list. There’s the culture list, which is what to do. And in what to do, I’ve broken it down into three things.

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Taking Responsibility and Start Looking at The Experience

 

Okay. So there’s three areas. And I talk about each of these in the book. The first one is what you have to do. So what you have to do as leader is some of what we were just talking about, you know, so it’s around you’re not taking absolute personal ownership and responsibility for the tone you’re setting no matter what, no matter how toxic your organization is as leader, if we can each take full responsibility for what’s happening and really start looking at the experience we’re committed to creating, then we can start to shift the tone.

 

That’s one of the first pieces. There’s a whole list, you know, about doing your IEP work. There’s a list around integrity and telling the truth and being willing to name the elephant in the room in a way that is really in service of versus making people wrong. So there’s a culture list. There’s you. I’ll let that go for now.

 

Then they’re together as a team and organization. And one of the primary things you can do is you write a vision with your team or your organization or even ideally, even both. You write a vision for the culture that you really want to create and what that what, what success looks like. So you look at, you know, if we have the culture we want, what are the behaviors we’re seeing?

 

How does it feel when we’re walking in the door? What do our employees say to each other inside and outside of work? How do our employees talk about working here? You know, what do people say about us out in the world in terms of the culture that we have and anything else that’s important to you? So that’s one first piece, because if you can get clear, that’s one of the first things on a culture list.

 

You can get clear on the vision of what a healthy, contagious, useful culture looks like for you. That right there you set the vision and now you have it as a team. You can start to look at it go, okay, well what would we need to do? What agreements would we need to have? What practices will we need to put in place?

 

Oh, we want to integrate energy checks. The great thing is, we want to create agreements for our team and how we work together. Fantastic. It opens up a collaborative discussion that helps all of you get to the vision together. So that’s there’s you there’s you as a team, an organization. And then I give another list, which is like a sublet, or there’s another list which is around the building blocks for positive, contagious culture.

 

And that’s around, you know, cultural identity, infrastructure. Sure. It’s around, what I call cultural heart and safety infrastructure, which has to do with your identity, which is your values, your vision, your purpose, and being crystal clear on that and making sure that everybody knows and is on board as much as possible. And then there’s your heart and safety infrastructure, which has to do with agreements and structures and rituals you do as a team or organization that really support you in showing up authentically and connecting with each other.

 

There’s meeting guidelines, there’s feedback processes, you know, like feedback to create a healthy culture. You want to have feedback be something that is not, you know, every once in a while. But it is a common practice, and it is just something that actually people can look at as a gift. So you want to get really conscious about how you frame feedback and how you give it, and even how you give feedback on this quote unquote soft stuff where, you know, how do you get someone feedback when their energy is really bad?

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: Final Advice from Anese

 

And I talk about that, I go into a whole chapter in the book around feedback and how you do that in the most nuanced of ways. There’s criteria. There’s, you know, what we’ve got cultural assessments. So there’s a list of building blocks. And then I take it even further because I kept thinking about all these, anybody on this list has ever seen me speak, ask me a question, email me, DM’d me or whatever.

 

I literally took you with me when I wrote this book, because you may see your questions reflected back in the so because we go into the final list, which is the personal and cultural integration, and that just goes into what do you do daily, what do you do weekly, monthly and quarterly, and what do you do annually and biannually to make sure that this stuff sticks and you make it real?

 

But again, it’s only as good as the IEP. The intentions, energy and presence of the person and people who are doing it. So you gotta work on yourself first. Okay. Onward Nation, you see what I mean? How awesome was that? Anese, just an incredible encore. I knew that it would be. But before we go, before we close out and say goodbye, because I know that we’re quickly running out of time.

 

And I want to be conscientious of your schedule. Tell us the best way to connect with you, my friend. Oh, okay. 

 

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How to Overcome Negative Energy: How to Connect with Anese

 

So you can go to AneseCavanaugh.com, and you will find a ton there. You can also go to IEP.io. And if you go there, you’ll get sent into a portal, tools that we put out there for people that we don’t charge for, we just want you to have them so you can start practicing that.

 

So both of those, you’ll find me out. And then I’m out there on Twitter and Instagram and LinkedIn and, and also on, and I’m all I’m also on Facebook actually. So there are but Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram are my three main homes. Okay. Onward Nation, no matter how many notes you took or how often you go back and re-listen to, he says words of wisdom, which I sure hope that you do.

 

The key is you have to take this knowledge, these lists, these recipes, the structure that she gave you, these strategies. You take them and apply them into your business right away in accelerate your results and unless we all have the same 86,400 seconds in a day, my friend and I am so grateful that you said yes to come back to the show, to be our mentor and guide for a second time, to help us move our businesses onward to that next level.

 

Thank you so much, my friend. Stephen, thank you so much. You are so lovely. Thank you. Thank you for the opportunity to to share this and to talk and just to just to connect. I always had a ball. 

 

This episode is complete. So head over to OnwardNation.com for show notes and more food to fuel your ambition. Continue to find your recipe for success here at Onward Nation.

 

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